Singing in the Dead of Night
by Faye Dartmouth
Summary: A year after the Volturi leave Forks in tentative peace, Jacob struggles with the new found rhythm of his life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Singing in the Dead of Night

A/N: Much thanks to Deej for beta'ing this, even when she's not a Twilight fan. Thanks to sendinthklowns for the hand holding and cheerleading. Without her, none of this would ever happen. My apologies will go out in advance for any inaccuracies or inconsistencies within the fic as related to the Twilight canon. I've read the books a time or two, but I am by no means an expert, and I am not well read in this fandom by any means. My exploits here are totally for my own enjoyment.

Spoilers: For all books. Set after BD with a focus on the wolves. This fic will have four chapters.

Disclaimer: So not mine.

Summary: A year after the Volturi leave Forks in tentative peace, Jacob struggles with the new found rhythm of his life.

-o-

CHAPTER ONE

Ducking through the brush of the forest, Jacob surged ahead, branches swatting at his thick fur. Using his legs, he sprung hard, flying through the air, landing easily on his feet. Without missing a beat, he picked up running again, skimming lightly over the ground as he dodged the tree trunks. Darting right, he leaped down an incline, veering left away from a thicket of brambles.

The air was fresh in his lungs, filling his chest with each precious breath. It invigorated him, sparking his mind with a beautiful clarity, tingling from his ears to his tail.

He needed this. It made him feel alive, free, _whole_...

But not alone.

Behind him, Leah nipped at his tail. Quil barreled next to him, nudging against him with some force.

This wasn't just freedom, completion. This was _dominance_. The need to come out on top was as ingrained as anything for a wolf. And Jacob knew it was more than just luck that allowed him to push it harder than the rest of them combined.

They still tried, though.

Leah's attack was careful and planned; Quil's was overt and to the point. Neither was enough to dissuade Jacob from his course. Instead, he pushed back, stretching his gait and easily edging out the smaller wolf. The sound of paws thundered behind him and someone came up on his right flank, taking a light swipe with their teeth at his side.

The bite caught skin, but not enough. Annoyed, Jacob lashed out, flicking his attacker with a powerful kick.

There was a whimper, and the presence fell back.

Pushing ahead, Jacob could see the clearing of the trees. The smell of the ocean was stronger now, almost upon him.

He was almost there.

Victory was within his reach.

The taste of it was powerful and he gave it one last effort, easily taking up the distance. There was a growl behind him, too far away to matter. Hard breathing, fast paws-background noise.

Then, the sky was visible through the trees. Jacob heard the sound of a wave crashing against the rocks and was greeted with a cool burst of ocean air.

The moment of success was sweet and sudden, and he pulled drastically to a halt, coming to rest easily on the cliff's edge.

He panted, taking deep breaths as he looked across the open expanse. It stretched for miles, as far as the eye could see. It seemed like it was his for the taking, and for a second, Jacob remember cliff diving. He'd never tried it in wolf form, and it just seemed like freedom-a taste of immortality, a second of really living. Legends coming to life. Freedoms being realized. Jacob's full potential finally met.

This was what he liked best. In all the responsibility, in all the difficulties, in the shared minds and phasing, these were the moments that made him feel like everything was worthwhile. Because this was responsibility, this was a chore. No matter how far he went, the pack was always behind him, always calling him back.

He could take the sea now. Run right off and jump. Feel the wind in his hair, the water washing over him. Be a lone wolf, just for a moment, for one perfect, wonderful moment. All he had to do was let go...

The sounds from behind him made him stop.

It was a scuffle, fur on fur and teeth gnashing.

He turned in time to see Seth's sandy form bound easily from the trees. Right on his tail, Embry galloped in. Quil and Leah were not far behind, breaking through the trees rolling one over another, biting at each other with a wolfish determination.

The feeling was gone. The temporary high, fleeting. The lone wolf fantasy lost in the crashing waves. So close, but never his to hold. Just to taste, to want, to _need_, before real life called him back again. Oh Alpha, my Alpha. Forever to play leader of the pack.

The pair kept at it, vying for position. Leah's ear was bleeding and Quil had a scrape along his cheek. Leah was smaller, but scrappier in her technique. It didn't take long before she was on top of Quil, teeth bared and ready to take a deeper bite when Jacob figured having his own pack maul each other wasn't really the best idea.

Loping in, he nipped Leah in the neck, pulling her off Quil with force.

Her hackles flared, but she obeyed, even as Quil sat up, pacing back and forth with vigor in his gaze.

_Are you two done yet? _Jacob asked, looking purposefully between them. These were his friends-his best friends-and now more than that. They were family, closer than family, and that was a good thing...most of the time.

Leah raised her head proudly. _As long as Quil's willing to concede defeat._

Quil growled a little. _You got a lucky roll, Clearwater_.

_Yeah, well, you both came in last as far as I can tell_, Embry said, shaking his fur out.

Both Quil and Leah scowled at that.

Jacob rolled his eyes. Times like these reminded him why he'd never looked for a pack to begin with. He'd broken away, content to be on his own. The whole lone wolf thing. The fact that they'd all trailed after him was completely out of his hands and yet now totally his responsibility. _If you two would spend less time fighting one another, you might have had a chance in catching me._

_You had a really good run today, Jake_, Seth chipped in.

Jacob looked at the youngest wolf. _Not bad yourself there, kid. Second place?_

Leah strutted a bit, rolling her massive shoulders. _My time was slow because _someone_ kept trying to pick me off._

Quil coughed incredulously. _I do believe I found you in second to last place there, sweetheart._

Leah rose a bit, coming to full height. _Should I remind you who was on top when Jacob pulled us apart not to mention who your Beta is?_

Quil's snout wrinkled a bit, but he didn't rise.

The conflict looked bad, Jacob knew that, but it was pretty normal all things considered. Wolves were team players, but they still had their own desires and wants. Their ultimate goal was pack unity, but Jacob remembered how it was not being the one in charge.

A hierarchy always caused contention, and with as hot blooded as wolves ran, tempers just went with the territory. His pack was more laid back than Sam's, but Leah and Quil had their moments. Even Embry was known to get in on it from time to time, because that was just what wolves did. The wrestled and they clawed and then they laughed about it afterward. Expected, a bit routine, and all in all, not one of Jacob's favorite part of being Alpha. Playing referee wasn't in any job description he'd ever read, and no matter how well Leah had taken to her role as Beta, she still had a bit of bitter diva in her that was impossible to break.

Even Quil and Embry were prone to bickering, because they were best friends. And guys. Sometimes guys were just stupid, around each other, and especially around girls. Jacob would know; he was one, and he'd had his share of stupid moments around girls.

It was hard to believe that he'd ever be thankful for little Seth Clearwater's good nature. The kid was persistent and pervasive, but he didn't know how to hold a grudge. Not even against Leah, who liked to regale them all with thoughts of Seth's toddler years or his awkward preteen moments.

With a sigh, Jacob stepped between his pack members again. Someone had to play the heavy and it was always, _always_ him. _You all sort of suck when compared to me_, he said. _Now are you all satisfied?_

Quil made a face, whining a bit. _Sheesh, Jake. Bad mood or what today?_

Leah tentatively came down from her guard, sitting back on her haunches. _Still upset about the party?_

_No, just upset that after a year, my pack still can't give me a good run for my money on a simple exercise._

Quil laughed. _Oh, boo hoo. Poor Jacob. The put out Alpha with the ragtag pack._

_Speak for yourself, Ataera._ Leah said.

_You really want to still go there, Clearwater? _Quil shot back, stepping closer to her.

Jacob growled at him. _If you two are going to be stupid about this all day long, then we'll just take human forms so I don't have to hear you in my head_.

They all whined at that. _We'll be good, Jake. And if Leah starts being problematic, we can just bite her_, Seth offered.

Leah scoffed. _Like to see you try, little brother_.

_Ooh, sibling on sibling, that should be a nice change of pace, _Embry thought.

_I've got twenty on Leah,_ Quil thought.

_Hey,_ Seth interrupted.

_Only twenty? _Leah thought simultaneously.

There was probably a time he would have been joining them, plunking down thirty on none of the above. But it was just kind of...different now in a way Jacob couldn't explain. It didn't seem quite as much fun to hang out with the guys when they were in his head. It wasn't as entertaining to wrestle around with the pack when he was Alpha.

And he _was_ an Alpha, not that he always felt like it. Sometimes he seemed like nothing more than a glorified preschool teacher. Though the fact that they were all essentially supercharged teenagers was really none of their faults. Being a wolf screwed with their self control in major ways, and Jacob was not necessarily proud of some of his split second decisions over the last few years.

_That's enough, _Jacob thought with forceful inflection, not quite the Alpha's command, but they all got the hint. _Phase back. All of you. And Quil, you better have your shorts on before you show your face here again._

The order was met with grumbling, but acquiescence all the same. His four pack members trudged into the woods. Sometimes being Alpha had its perks.

When alone, Jacob let himself phase, throwing on his jean shorts. Being a wolf could be more fun, sometimes, that was definitely true. But they were less likely to have pissing matches about who was better when they were all human again. Jacob was all for some friendly competition (especially since he could basically always win), but sometimes all the jockeying for position, however harmless, was just irritating. Especially since it was _always_ the same.

It was perhaps no surprise that Seth made it back first. For what that kid lacked in grace, he certain made up for in a willingness to please. Embry and Quil were not far behind, but Leah took her sweet time coming out of the woods.

"Sheesh, Leah," Quil said with an exaggerated sigh. "What were you doing back there? Your nails?"

She gave him an angry glare. "You idiots get to walk around without your shirts on," she snapped. "Since last time I tried that I scarred Seth for life and gave you awkward dreams for a month, I thought I'd take the extra moment to throw on my shirt."

And that was unfortunately far too true. And so not what Jacob wanted to think about. Seth wasn't the only one who was scarred. "The shirt is great, Leah, thanks," he offered meagerly. "But we need to talk about more than fashion right now."

"Is this about the party tonight?" Seth prompted, almost as if he'd read Jacob's mind, which was actually kind of a funny thought. "We're all going, right?"

"And that's the million dollar question," Jacob said, a little grateful he didn't have to beat around the bush.

Embry frowned a bit, shifting his weight to his other foot. "Why wouldn't we go to the party?"

Jacob shrugged, trying to stay nonchalant. He'd thought this through very carefully, but he was pretty sure his friends wouldn't get it and he knew them well enough to know they wouldn't let it slide. "Someone has to run a few patrols over the woods tonight, just in case."

"You're kidding, right?" Quil asked.

Leah rolled his eyes. "Does it look like he's kidding?"

"But it's _our_ celebration," Embry said emphatically.

Embry was right, of course. The elders had organized it with a concrete purpose in mind, the one year anniversary since the last serious conflict, when the Volturi had attacked. Since Jacob had been out in the heat of the battle, it had never quite occurred to him how much of a risk it all was. Every last wolf had been there; it could have been the annihilation of their race.

So when they came back alive, the elders had been pretty happy about it. Happy enough to celebrate it. They didn't need much reason to celebrate-life in La Push could be pretty boring-so the tribe had taken to the idea with a flourish. There were grand festivities planned, with food and cookouts and music and games and a bonfire all night long. Excessive celebration for a victory that most people wouldn't even begin to understand.

Jacob shrugged, doing his best to make it sound like not a big deal. He was going to have a hard time convincing them on this point as it was. "No one else knows that."

Quil snorted, clearly not buying it. "But we know it. The elders are doing this for us."

Leah appeared wholly indifferent in classic Leah fashion. "Our fearless leader has gotten quite the hero complex. I think it's pretty much to be expected given how many times he's saved our butts."

The jibe didn't mean much to him, and ignoring Leah was the best way to handle her sarcasm. Besides, it was hard to talk back to the one person in the pack who would probably let him go, no questions asked even if she was PMSing about it all. "There was a report of a tourist being mauled not far from here two nights ago," Jacob reminded them.

"Yeah, and the local police already said it was a mountain lion," Embry said. "The dude was carrying like an entire salami on him."

"Not the best food for a quiet picnic," Quil agreed.

"Wow, you two really are juveniles, aren't you?" Leah asked with more than a hint of disgust in her voice.

Quil proved her point by sticking out his tongue and Jacob tried to remind himself that ditching them altogether simply wasn't a viable option, no matter how much he could use the peace and quiet.

"We haven't picked up on a scent," Seth pointed out, the first relevant comment in what seemed like ages.

Jacob clung to it for all that it was worth. "Doesn't mean it's not there," he said reasonably. "And even if it is just a mountain lion, we may need to take care of it."

"But one night!" Quil said. "You can take one night off. Especially if we're just talking about one somewhat insane mountain lion and some not-so-bright out of towners."

"Only if one of you wants to do it instead," Jacob said, as a matter of fact. He could order them into submission-no problems there-but he would feel less guilty if they let him go voluntarily. Orders could be convenient, but they nearly destroyed Sam's pack. Jacob wasn't a brilliant Alpha by any stretch of the imagination, but he knew enough not to repeat that mistake, especially over something like this.

Quil groaned. Embry's gaze purposefully wandered.

Leah shook her head with an incredulous grunt. "Don't look at me. If you want to run around and play good Alpha, that's your business. Me? I could use the distraction. Being a wolf has been murder on my social life."

Seth gave a small half shrug. "I can go," he offered. "I mean, you've been to one bonfire, you've been to them all, right? Not that it wouldn't be fun, but Quil's right, Jake. You deserve a night off."

Sometimes that kid was just too _good_. He couldn't see Jacob was looking for a way out and a night alone even when Jacob was slapping them in the face with it. "And you do, too," Jacob said.

"Besides, wouldn't that be a little past your bedtime, kid?" Quil joked, ruffling Seth's long hair.

Seth's face darkened just for a moment, and he ducked away from Quil's touch. "I'm just offering to help is all," he said. "I would hate for Jacob to miss out."

"Well, I won't be missing out," Jacob assured them. "Parties aren't really my thing anyway."

"You're just upset Nessie won't be there," Quil prodded.

There was some truth to that. Things without Ness around were never as much fun, but she wasn't ready for the reservation yet. More than that, it was pretty clear to Jacob that the reservation wasn't ready for her. Maybe when she was older, fully matured, they could try it, but Jacob was not about to put her at risk and bring her to La Push. She was infinitely safe, of course, since everyone in either pack would fight to the death to defend her. But the emotional impact was nothing something Jacob wanted to expose her, too. Not with her ridiculous photographic memory.

But it was more than that. The whole thing just didn't seem to make much sense to him. Not that he wasn't happy about the year of peace they'd had and how good things were going for the tribe, but it still didn't quite feel like his victory. At least not in any important kind of way.

Jacob had always done what he had to do. He had never been an overachiever by any stretch of the imagination, and though he knew he was gifted in certain ways, he just didn't often feel compelled to go above and beyond. His desire to protect had always been there, but he'd be a liar if he said that it was really all about the tribe.

Sure, he had fought for the tribe, but for Jacob, it had always been a little bit more focused than that. The tribe was too abstract. He fought for the pack, for Bella. For Nessie.

So this whole tribe-wide celebration felt awkward at best and disingenuous at worse. He preferred the night off, honestly. And he didn't even need Nessie as an excuse.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Whatever, man," he said. "A little responsibility never killed us."

"No, but it makes you boring," Quil said a little sulkily.

Embry looked equally downtrodden. "Even Sam's taking this one off," he said.

Leah snorted. "Maybe I _should_ consider taking it off then," she muttered.

Jacob gave her a look, banal and desperate. He could tolerate her sarcasm because that was who Leah was, but they'd all had enough Sam angst to last them a lifetime. "All the more reason that we have to cover things tonight," he said, pinning his Beta with a plaintive gaze she couldn't misinterpret. "You can all enjoy the party. It's not a big deal."

Leah's eyes showed understanding and she remained noticeably silent.

Quil was not nearly so stoic, or perhaps just not as perceptive. "Buzz kill," he said.

"You're going to spend all your time with Claire anyway," Jacob pointed out with an edge to his voice.

Quil had the decency to blush.

Leah laughed, shaking her head. "You guys are both pathetic."

"Says the one who wanted to skip it on account of her ex," Quil charged.

To Leah's credit, she didn't rise to the barb. Instead she tossed her head. "I already told you, I'm in need of a jumpstart in my social life. Everyone in the tribe will be there," she said. "It's been too long since I've gotten to mix and mingle with real men." She sauntered close to Quil. "You know, the kind who aren't betrothed to toddlers."

Quil's eyes narrowed and Embry choked on a laugh.

"Wow," Jacob said, looking at his motley pack again. "Should be one heck of a party with you all as the guests of honor."

Leah shrugged. Quil tackled Embry with a headlock. Seth smiled at him.

"We'll let you know how it goes," Leah assured him mockingly.

"Can't hardly wait," Jacob said. Leah wasn't the only one prone to sarcasm, though his was far less bitter. Sarcasm was more effective when in human form, which was another plus when it came to group meetings. He paused, eyeing them all suspiciously. "Just...don't kill each other while I'm off, okay?"

Quil swore as Embry caught his arm and yanked. "I won't break anything that won't heal before tonight," Embry promised with a warm smile.

Jacob knew the response to that before Quil countered.

"I make no such promises," Quil said between clenched teeth. He surged, twisting under Embry and wiggling out. The two rolled the ground, bumping into Leah, who used one leg to shove Quil out of the way.

"Seriously, this may look cool when we're wolves, but you just look like idiots right now," she said.

Jacob sighed. It was almost like clockwork, it was that predictable. And yet they all still seemed to enjoy it, even Leah. With all of her huffing and her head tosses, the elder Clearwater relished pack life. She'd chosen Jacob's pack for a reason, and had never regretted it.

Not even now. Not even when Jacob regretted the entire thing altogether.

As if on cue, Quil and Embry stopped to glare at Leah for a long moment, then with unspoken unity, turned their attack on her. She yelped, fending them off with swift evasive maneuvers, and Seth moved in to assist her, like the dutiful little brother he was. Jacob edged backward from the fray, because he knew from experience that wild punching was not out of the question, as Leah slammed Embry to the ground. The younger boy hit hard and grunted, his eyes closed as Leah capitalized on his poor position. Not far away, Quil was behind Seth, grappling for position as Seth's wiry frame bucked and thrashed.

Perfect. A tag team match right there on the coast. Jacob didn't know which side to choose for, except maybe _neither_.

"Great," Jacob muttered, knowing even if he did bolt now, he could never really escape _this_. Some things never changed.

The ruckus was settling now, with Leah sitting on Embry's chest while he flailed uselessly, and Seth was going limp from a killer choke hold, his arms dangling by his sides while his eyelids fluttered.

Tired, Jacob shook his head. "Leah, that's a three count, now get off," he ordered. "And Quil, if you kill him, you have to revive him, CPR and all, so I might let him go now."

Leah got off reluctantly, eyeing Quil with disdain as he lowered Seth to a sitting position, patting him on the back to bring him back to full awareness.

"So anything else you need me for?" Jacob asked.

"No, I think we got it from here," Leah said.

Despite everything, Jacob gave a short bark of laughter. The irony of it all was clear even to his wolfish brain. "Yeah, you're all totally showing why the elders should honor us."

"Hey, like you said," Quil retorted, giving Seth's shoulder a shake while the younger boy blinked blearily. "No one knows it's for us."

"And I'm beginning to think that's a very good thing," Jacob said with a shake of his head.

And there was really nothing more to say. Nothing more to do.

Story of his life. Good and bad, fun and miserable, it was set before him from the days of his ancestors, since the first Quileute turned into a wolf and set this entire thing in motion. All the way down to a pack of misfits sparring in the morning sunlight.

Who was Jacob to fight fate? All he could hope for was to navigate it as best he could, take the good and endure the bad.

With that thought, Jacob turned tail and began to run, hoping to clear the area before they went at it for round two.

-o-

If he was going to spend the entire night playing the responsible Alpha, that really did mean he had to spend the entire night playing the responsible Alpha. They would know if he was lying, which really did kind of suck, but it was just part of the gig.

Which meant, no Nessie tonight. If he was going to survive the night, he would have to give her the day.

The good thing about imprinting was that no one could really give him crap about it. Some good natured ribbing, sure, but imprinting was imprinting. It was impossible to change what was written in his very soul, and there was simply no point in trying.

In all, imprinting was like the rest of wolf-hood. It didn't ask questions, it just was. It demanded and Jacob had no choice but to fall in line. He couldn't stop loving Ness any more than he could just stop being a wolf. It didn't leave much room for negotiation, needless to say.

Sometimes he still looked at Bella and wondered, just like sometimes he still ran through the woods and wanted to keep running. But he always came back-to the pack, to Nessie. It was like tides pulled by the moon, there just wasn't any choice in the matter.

For all the futility he felt when it came to the pack, he could never regret Ness. It just wasn't even remotely possible. It would be like regretting his own existence. Regretting _oxygen_.

Even if he wanted to, he didn't know how to do it. At least, he didn't know how to make the doubts last. The moment he saw her, he was in love all over again. She was his reset button.

He found her in the yard. The Cullens' property was mostly forest, but there was a small cleared area between the main house and Bella's cottage. Nessie liked to play there, doing acrobatics off the trees or amassing an impressive collection of leaves.

Jacob liked it when she was out there, too. It smelled less like vampire that way, and he usually could avoid having to come into extraneous contact with Rosalie.

Even a year later, he couldn't bring himself to really like her. Respect her, maybe, but even that was a stretch.

For Ness, though, he'd tolerate her.

Then again, he'd do anything for Nessie.

As it was, Nessie was running and dancing circles around her mother, giggling, her perfect laugh filling the forest with its serene sound. She was barely over the age of two in terms of years, but she looked like she was seven. Her brown hair was still in perfect ringlets, falling long over her shoulders. She was dressed immaculately, Alice's contribution, no doubt, though she did have a penchant for jeans and t-shirts just like her mother when she was permitted.

Bella caught her with a laugh of her own, hugging her tight. "Okay, okay," she said. "Your turn then."

Nessie straightened, her little head lifted. Then, she paused, her head cocked to the side. "I think I smell...," she said carefully, eyes scanning the forest. "Something...no, _someone_ wonderful!"

"That's too easy!" Bella said, her eyes flicking to Jacob. She grinned. "You're supposed to make me guess in twenty questions."

"Not this time!" Nessie exclaimed. She whirled. "Because Jacob is my surprise!"

With that, Nessie broke into a run, flinging herself at Jacob with all her strength.

Jacob caught her with a laugh, staggering under her weight. "What are they feeding you these days?" he asked joking, wrapping his arms around her. She smelled like sunlight and the ocean after the rain. "Wait, scratch that, I don't want to know."

She giggled, pulling away to look at him, all smiles. "I had people food this week," she said. She put a hand to his cheek, sharing a memory of eating French toast with strawberry syrup.

"Mmmm," Jacob said. "Though I prefer maple myself."

"I still like mountain lion," she said. She looked back at her mother. "Mommy and Daddy say I still can't hunt them on my own."

Jacob strode toward Bella, hoisting Nessie higher. "And with good reason," he said. "We don't want you to destroy the entire species with your voracious eating habits."

Her laugh tinkled in his ears. "Mommy says it's dangerous," she said, sharing a snippet of memory, Bella lecturing her seriously about the importance of being safe.

Jacob did his best not to snort out loud. He raised an eyebrow at Bella. "Your mother has a point," he said. Then he looked at Nessie conspiratorially. "But sometime you should ask her about riding motorcycles and see what she _really_ thinks about danger."

Bella cleared her throat purposefully. "Yes, well, we all have to grow up sometime, don't we, Jacob?"

He placed Nessie on the ground and leaned over brushing Bella's cheek with a cordial kiss. "That's what they tell me," he said. He flashed her a grin. "I'm not sure I believe it yet."

"That's because you're kind of immortal, too," Ness chimed in, her large eyes serious. "Not completely, but you get to choose it. I think that's neat. Getting to choose when you grow and when you don't. I just grow. Carlisle said I grew a whole inch last week!"

Jacob kneeled down, gauging her. "A whole inch?" he asked. "Hm, I would have guessed two."

She giggled again, looking up at her mother. "Jacob is good at guessing," she said. "Is that a wolf thing?"

Bella rested a hand on her head. "Most definitively," she said. Her eyes settled on Jacob for a moment. "Wolves are full of surprises."

Jacob stood up again. "Vampires have their moments," he added. Then he looked at Ness, reaching out to tickle her. "And human-vampire hybrids are the best surprises of all."

Her laughter escalated, high pitched and giddy as Jacob attack. She flitted away, sprinting up a tree branch, bounding from one to the next before holding on and grinning at him triumphantly.

"Hey, not fair!" Jacob protested. "Not unless I get to wolf out."

Nessie leapt again. "Mommy says no phasing in the house!"

"I'm not in the house!" he protested.

"Oh, close enough," Bella said.

"Told you!" Nessie said gleefully.

Jacob made a sound of mock hurt. "If I wanted to be teamed up on, I would have just stayed with the pack."

Nessie paused at that, swinging down from the tree and landing lightly on her feet. "Are they coming over any time soon?" she asked earnestly. "Seth promised to play a game of kick ball with me."

"Sweetie, it's not polite to push that kind of thing," Bella said.

"Nah," Jacob said. "I'm sure they'd love to come by soon. Seth would be over this weekend, I'm sure, but we've got this big thing down at the reservation."

Her eyes lit up. "Like a party?" she asked. "I like parties. Alice throws wonderful parties." She offered up a hand to show one.

Jacob laughed, catching her hand. "I remember. I was there."

Nessie's smile widened. "Are you going to go to the party, too?"

He made a face, shrugging a bit. "Nah, no need," he said.

She looked worried. "But parties are fun," she said. "Your friends will all be there."

"Not all of them," he said, leaning in and touching his forehead to hers.

She wrapped her arms around her neck contentedly. "I could go with you," she offered.

Jacob stiffened slightly, eyes meeting Bella's just for a moment.

Bella stepped forward, putting a hand on Nessie's shoulder. "You already promised to play checkers with Jasper tonight," she reminded gently. "You need to keep your promises."

Nessie considered that, frowning a little. Then she nodded, looking at Jacob again. "You can still have fun with your other friends," she said. "They're fun, too." This time, he let her share the memory. Leah's birthday party. She'd been appalled that the _leeches_ had thrown one, but there'd been cake and presents and music and they'd all had fun.

He had to smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "It was fun," he agreed. "And don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just worry about beating Jasper at checkers."

Her smile broadened again. "He doesn't cheat like Emmett," she said. "And I wouldn't worry about you ever."

He feigned surprise. "Yeah? And why's that?"

"Because I think you're perfect just the way you are," she said with confidence.

She was so sure of it, so completely earnest, that it had to make him pause. Because this was Nessie, his Nessie, the one person in the world he knew like he knew himself, who knew him better than he knew himself. His other half, his perfect balance, and she _believed _it.

Then, she giggled again, squirming out of his grip and running toward the trees. "Can you catch me, Jacob?" she called back. "I've been practicing."

For a moment, he just watched her amazed. Amazed at everything about her, the way she moved, the way she laughed. She was the most perfect creature he'd ever seen, every last detail about her. The way her eyes sparked with curiosity. The blush of red in her dimpled cheeks. The warmth of her hand when it pressed against his cheek.

"You better go get her," Bella's voice interrupted his thoughts. She was leaning close, smiling at him. "She won't wait forever."

Something pulled in his chest, something deep, something real. Nessie wouldn't wait forever, and Jacob just wondered if he would.

The thought slipped away in the sound of her laugh as she called to him again. He couldn't help but smile, lunging after her as they took to the woods.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: See chapter one for notes/disclaimers :) This chapter is a bit longer and has significantly more action.

CHAPTER TWO

Leaving Nessie was always a hard thing, but it was particularly hard today. Because he didn't have much of anything to look forward to. Just a long night of running through the woods while everyone else went out and had fun.

Yes, this was his own doing, but going to the party seemed like an even worse option. He just wanted it to be a normal night, hanging out with Quil and Embry, maybe playing the wolf version of capture the flag with Sam's pack.

Running lone was too appealing to really enjoy because every time he remembered he was doing it for the pack, it was just too much of a letdown. It wasn't that he didn't like the pack and it wasn't that he didn't like his life; it just seemed...monotonous. Like he was going through the motions. Not all the time, but enough of it to matter. For every breath of fresh air, he was drawn back into the routine, same as always.

Same as it would always be.

Nessie told him his immortality was a choice; Jacob wasn't so convinced.

So, the duty of the night. Run the patrol. See if there was a mountain lion, maybe something else. Easy and mundane. Tasks to fill the night. Jacob was good at killing time. Killing time until the next crisis. Wasting hours until he got to see Nessie again.

He started by working his way to the coast, intent on angling next to it for awhile before branching out toward the walking trails that were popular with hikers. It was a good circuit, enough to preoccupy him, and he was so set on his task that he almost didn't hear Seth's thoughts until the sandy wolf crashed through the brush beside him.

Jacob came to a sudden halt, a growl escaping. He swatted at the other wolf, trouncing him a bit. _What gives, Clearwater? You ever think of saying hi first?_

Seth yelped a little when Seth nipped at his right flank. He scurried to his feet, tail between his legs. _I've been saying hey for the last ten minutes. Ever since I phased._

Jacob glowered. _Speak up next time._

Seth stood, flexing a bit. _Your thoughts were pretty loud. And messy. You feeling okay?_

The concern was evident in the kid's voice, but that didn't mean that Jacob really wanted to hear it. _I can handle it. Speaking of which, what are you doing out here? Isn't the party getting started?_

Seth looked indifferent. _Leah's spent all afternoon in the bathroom. It's worse than when she was dating Sam._

Jacob grunted. _Sounds painful, kid, but it still doesn't tell me why you're here._

Seth's massive shoulder shrugged, his head dropping a little. _Just figured you could use the company, was all._ He sounded sheepish.

_You're missing the party,_ Jacob reminded him.

Seth looked up, eyes just as big and earnest as Nessie's. _So are you_.

_That's different_.

Seth shook his head. _No one should have to celebrate alone._

Jacob sneezed at that. As if there was much to celebrate.

He didn't let the thought formulate. The last thing he needed was well intentioned questions from Seth's bleeding heart.

Instead, he shook himself. _Fine_, he said. _But keep pace. And no excessive talking, okay?_

Seth perked up, moving on the balls of his paws with fresh excitement. _No excessive talking. Got it. Not going to be a problem, Jake. I promise_.

Somehow, Jacob couldn't be quite as sure.

He gave Seth one more wary look before he broke into a jog again. When Seth's feet padded in time just a step behind, he picked up the pace, keeping his nose to alert as he bounded through the trees.

-o-

Not going to be a problem.

Yeah, _right_.

He should have known better than to take the kid at his word. Not that Seth hadn't meant it when he said it, but there was just something genetically _off _when it came to Clearwaters. At least, that was the only explanation Jacob could come up with to adequately explain them.

From Leah's uncontrollable bitter commentary to Seth's incessant _presence_. Usually smiling, looking at Jacob as though he were the best thing in the world.

It was kind of a funny contrast, actually. Leah never had anything positive to say. Seth could never stop saying positive things.

_Wow, nice night out tonight, huh, Jake?_

Jacob pressed on, moving on. No response was required from him.

_Do you think they've started the bonfire yet?_

Seth skipped over a log, stumbling a bit over his own long feet.

_I wonder if the Cullens ever make bonfires. Though they don't seem overly big on fire. Maybe that's a cold blooded thing._

Thinking about why leeches didn't like fire was sort of low on Jacob's list of priorities at the moment. Though, he wasn't sure he could even remember his list when Seth _wouldn't stop talking_.

_You know, I was thinking, and I think running in the forest is way better than anywhere else. There's privacy, you know?_

Jacob really didn't know since here he was, running in the forest at night, with Seth Clearwater talking nonstop in his head.

_I haven't caught scent of any mountain lions, but I do think I can smell some deer._

That was great except they weren't looking for deer. Jacob picked up his pace out of sheer desperation.

When he settled into his new rhythm, Seth was still there, keeping stride. _You really keeping at it tonight, huh? You must be pretty focused on this mountain lion._

Or just really focused on getting this voice out of his head.

_Jake? _Seth asked. _You okay?_

It was probably kind of mean, but Jacob just wasn't feeling very nice. _Great, kid. What do you say about a race?_

Seth's spirits seemed to perk immediately. _A race? Sure? We can-_

Jacob didn't listen to the end of the thought, instead he jerked hard to the left, veering off into the night, moving with speed and stealth.

Seth tumbled in the brush behind him, and it only took a moment before Jacob could sense the kid's presence behind him.

Pushing harder, Jacob picked up his pace, moving with far reaches across the ground. He took a difficult path through the trees, dodging and ducking in an intricate back and forth. He was moving at his best, smooth and fluid and _fast_.

And still-Seth was there. A little farther behind, but still easily on his trail, within striking distance.

The kid's persistence was noteworthy and really kind of impressive, but Jacob wasn't in the mood to be impressed. He just wanted some time alone and he was going to get it even if it meant ditching Seth.

Mature? Not so much. But Jacob was tired of being mature. He had to be an Alpha but that didn't mean he always had to act the part. For one night. He wanted _one night_.

With a growl, he pulled up short, Seth skidding past him as Jacob changed directions. The move was drastic, and he plunged into the dark, keeping low. He was moving fast-almost too fast to see-and he trusted his instincts to guide him. Up an incline, along a ridge, then down, quick and hard. He circled, twisting his path around across itself before pulling out in a straight away.

That had to do it. It _had_ to. Seth would be chasing him around too much to even think annoying thoughts. Freedom. Peace and quiet. _Finally._

Then, a grunt and the sound of leaves kicking up. _Wow, Jake, that was-that was amazing! How did you do that?_

It was almost too much. How had Seth followed him through that? How was Jacob ever going to get away? Would he ever catch a break?

As if in answer to his question, the ground gave way.

He fumbled, yelping, feet scrambling to find some kind of footing. But he was falling blind, unprepared when he hit the bottom.

For a moment, Jacob was vaguely aware of Seth's surprise cry, a dark shape falling above him.

But then there was pain.

Pain.

_Pain_.

His consciousness ebbed, eclipsed by the harsh sensations.

Then, a voice. _Crap. Oh, crap, Jake. Your leg. Jake. Your leg. Are you-your leg!_

Seth sounded about as coherent as Jacob felt. Yeah. Oh crap. His leg.

Blinking rapidly, Jacob's eyes tried to focus, looking first at Seth's huge face right above him. Even as a wolf, the kid looked totally freaked out.

_What do you-do you want me-your leg, Jake. What about your leg?_

What about his leg? Jacob didn't know. With slow movements, he turned his eyes down and finally saw what Seth was losing it over.

His back right leg was limp, turned unnaturally. That wasn't really the problem, though, not with the white shafts of bone sticking through bloodied fur and muscle of the limb.

It was grotesque, and looked like it hurt like hell, but for a moment, Jacob wondered if it was really his.

Oh yeah. It was his.

As if to make that point clear, the pain spiked again, with a fresh intensity that made Jacob howl.

Seth was teetering, pawing pointlessly at the ground, head bobbing uncertainly. _What do you want me to do? Should I go get help? Do you want me to get help?_

Jacob didn't want anything except for the pain to _stop_.

That wasn't going to happen though as long as he was like this at the bottom of a hole.

He looked up, surprised. The bottom of a hole? Why the hell was he at the bottom of a hole?

Reading his wayward thoughts, Seth whined a little. _I think it's a trap. Came out of nowhere. And it's too well built._

A trap. Someone had built a freakin' trap and he'd fallen right down it and busted his leg open. Brilliant. _Brilliant_.

_I'm sorry, Jake_. Seth sounded truly remorseful, almost like he was going to cry. _I can go get help. I can do it fast. Ten minutes. Fifteen_.

Ten minutes. Fifteen. A lifetime of pain and agony he did not want to endure. Didn't know if he could endure.

And he had to think. Think without Seth in his head interrupting even his meagerly coherent thoughts. He had a broken leg at the bottom of a hole-not just any hole a trap. A wolf trap.

He cursed.

Seth flinched, pacing now. _Anything you want. I can get the Cullens, maybe. They'd be closer._

Seth would have to go for help eventually, but they needed to think this out. Jacob had been hurt before and it really did suck, like majorly sucked, but he could heal. He could heal if everything was in place. As much as this break hurt the first time, he didn't want to have to break it a second time to start things on the path.

Which meant Seth had to set it.

Seth blanched. _Set it? Like, the bone? Like, here?_

Jacob growled. _Yes, here._

_But Carlisle would be better at it. I mean. It's bad. It looks bad. Are you sure-_

Jacob snapped his jaw at him.

Seth yelped, curling in on himself a bit. _I can't do it while I'm a wolf._

_Then phase, genius, _Jacob thought tersely. _I'll phase, too._

Seth's eyes widened. _What? Are you sure?_

_We're wolves in a wolf trap, what do you think will happen to us if someone finds us?_ Jacob asked, a sharp edge to his voice. Sarcasm was his thing more often than not, and considering there was a bone sticking through his shin, he was really in the mood for Seth's naive reasoning skills.

Seth blinked his huge eyes before understanding dawned on him. _Oh. Right. _His muzzle scrunched up and he sat down submissively. _That would be bad_.

Jacob hissed with pain. _You think?_

Seth nodded, going to all fours again. He paced the small space again, large tail swishing in Jacob's face. _So, uh, human then? Even with the leg?_

The mere mention of it made it hurt with fresh vigor. Jacob growled. _I'll take the pain over ending up as a pelt on some idiot's wall._

With a shake of his head, Seth moved back and forth. _I really don't want to make it worse_.

_We're at the bottom of a wolf trap while in wolf form and my shin is sticking through my leg. The entire pack is at the party and there is no one here to help us. I really don't know how you think this could _possibly _get _any_ worse._

Seth stopped again, sitting on his haunches. _You sure you don't want me to go out and get help first? I can be really fast._

It was just too much. Jacob's shin was snapped in half, poking clean through, and Seth was still talking. Jacob had never had the urge to flex his Alpha muscle, but right then? He would have liked to take a chunk out of Seth just so the kid would get the idea that now was not the time to ask questions. Now was not the time to make suggestions. Now was the time to _shut up and listen_.

Seth flinched at the weight of the words, head bowing reflexively.

_I'm phasing first,_ Jacob thought purposefully. _You're phasing second. You will put your pants on and then set my leg_.

Seth looked up again, head cocked. _When you're naked?_

_You _will _set my leg_, Jacob said again, ordering it this time with a resonating strength he hadn't even been aware he had.

Seth whimpered under them, collapsing to his stomach.

Jacob might have felt guilty if it didn't hurt so completely. His vision was still red around the edges and it was getting worse with each passing second. He needed to finish this and they needed to move ahead. Now._ Then you will phase back and get help. Do you understand?_

The only response Jacob got was a whimper, meager and submissive.

It would have to do.

Gritting his teeth, Jacob endured a long shudder. Even as a wolf, tears burned his eyes. He swallowed hard. _I'm going to phase now,_ he thought. He paused. _Just...be quick, okay?_

It wasn't an order this time, but a request. Because Jacob knew, wolf or not, this was going to hurt. A lot. A lot, a lot, _a lot_. He was not looking forward to this.

Seth whined, scooting back a little to give Jacob the space he needed.

Taking a deep breath, Jacob rallied his courage. Bracing himself, he started the process. It was always a bit weird to phase, to feel his body transform, synapse after synapse. But doing it with a broken leg?

Was kind of like ripping off a band aid. Hot, intense torture, searing through him with a ferocity that he couldn't even explain, couldn't even comprehend. All there was was pain, deep and vast, and as he teetered on the brink of unconsciousness, he half wondered if maybe he would have been smart to set the leg while a wolf.

But the point was still the same. Without medical equipment, phasing back would just screw with the setting anyway, and there was no way in hell Jacob was going through this-_twice_. And excruciating pain or not, Jacob really wasn't going to end up as a hunting trophy. Because getting his leg broken sucked, but it was still fixable.

Getting stuffed and mounted by an illegal poacher? Would do a whole lot more than suck.

Of course, at the moment, sucking and not sucking didn't make a difference when there was only _pain_.

He screamed, a human scream, and felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Wow. Jake. Can you-? Are you okay? Are you-?" Seth's voice was clipped and strained, as scared as he'd ever heard the kid.

That might be something to consider were he not about to bite through his tongue from the sheer agony of it all. His leg was on fire, and the blood was flowing with a new intensity. Human skin was far more fragile, and the tear was more visible without the thick coat of fur.

It looked bad. It felt worse. He needed to get this taken care of. Now.

Seth was still hovering, a bit shell shocked, and it took all of Jacob's concentration to grab him hard by one shoulder, shaking him purposefully. He looked up into Seth's eyes, holding them with determination. "Do it," he said through clenched teeth. "Do it _now_."

Seth's face looked hesitant just for a moment, but then he nodded, pulling out of Jacob's grasp.

Distantly, Jacob felt a hand on his foot, another on his thigh. "This, uh. Is going to hurt," Seth said.

What the hell, it hurt _now_.

"I'm going to have to pull pretty hard," Seth continued.

Jacob cursed. "If you don't set it _now_, I'm going to phase back and rip your _head off_."

Seth blanched but the threat must have done the trick. Seth jerked backwards, with a strength Jacob didn't expect.

His body convulsed, kicking out wildly, a spasm of pain overtaking him. Seth stumbled back with a yelp and as the white hot pain lanced through him, Jacob screamed in earnest.

The redness faded into encroaching blackness and Jacob heard his own screams echoing far too loudly as he passed out.

-o-

When he woke up, his mouth was dry and his neck ached.

Oh, and yeah, his leg was still on freakin' _fire_.

A shiver wracked his body and he startled to full awareness. He blinked rapidly, putting the pieces together.

He'd fallen down a hole. Broken his leg.

Looking down, he could see that the limb was still bloody, but it was set at least. It would start to heal correctly, and Jacob remembered all too well that that was a good thing. In fact, it probably had already started to heal, even if Jacob couldn't feel it yet. Though he had to suspect that the fact that he was conscious and marginally coherent was a sign that his werewolf side was still doing all the hard work.

But at least it'd had some help. Seth had pulled it out-literally.

Blinking, Jacob tried to remember where the kid was. How long had Jacob been out anyway?

Shakily, Jacob pushed himself to his elbows, squinting up. The gray daylight was still visible through the trees, so it hadn't been too long. Maybe Seth had gone for help.

Carefully, Jacob eased himself against the wall, closing his eyes for a second. It was better than before, but better was only a relative term. His leg still felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand knives, and his body was still flashing hot and cold to numb the effects with a regular intensity that made him a little sick.

Swallowing hard, he opened his eyes again, trying to see what else he could piece together.

That was when he realized that Seth hadn't gone for help after all.

Perplexed, Jacob blinked again, trying to see if he was imagining. Because it looked like Seth was sprawled on the ground on the far side of the hole. He could see that the kid was breathing, but he looked to be asleep.

Why would Seth be sleeping?

Had they been her longer than Jacob thought?

Nothing was making sense, nothing at all, and now Jacob couldn't be sure if he had a concussion, too.

Licking his lips, Jacob called, "Seth." The words were grating in his dry throat.

There was no reply.

Determined, he tried again. "Seth."

Again, there was no reply.

It was true, Seth was a deep sleeper. All wolves were. But to sleep now? When they were stuck in a hole? When Jacob was injured. This was off.

Sighing, Jacob knew what he needed to do, even if he really didn't want to. Besides the fact that this whole thing was weirding him out, he was the Alpha. Knowing what was up with his pack was his business and if Seth _was_ sleeping on the job, then it was Jacob's place to know (and thoroughly kick his ass for it later because _really_).

It was by sheer strength of will that Jacob was able to move at all, a small, startling motion. The spark of pain was expected, but powerful. He saw black for a moment before his vision cleared.

With a steadying breath, Jacob steeled himself. He could do this.

Keeping his leg as still as possible, he used his arms to move himself. The next movement jarred his leg less, and though it still hurt (_a lot_), it was easier. Clenching his jaw, Jacob moved again, slowly and purposefully until he was close enough to see Seth's face.

The younger boy had his eyes closed, his head turned away from Jacob toward the wall. His mouth was slightly open, wheezing breaths passing in and out. It was almost normal, but not quite. Something was off. Something in the color of his skin. The sheen of sweat matting his hair. The slight rasp of his breath.

"Seth?" he asked this time, more tentative. He reached a shaking hand out, touching the younger boy's shoulder.

At the contact, Seth came to with a shuddering gasp. His eyelids were blinking rapidly, his face screwed up in surprise.

"Seth?" Jacob said again. "Hey, you with me, man?"

Seth's frantic movements stilled and he sunk back down, all the way to the ground. He blinked lazily at Jacob, eyes unusually bright. "Hey, Jake," he said with a wayward smile.

"Seth, what's going on?" he asked.

The smile reached Seth's eyes and he closed them dreamily for a moment. "You know how you said you didn't think this could get much worse?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jacob said slowly.

Seth opened his eyes, and Jacob realized suddenly that Seth was more than sleepy. Seth was feverish. "I think it got worse," he said, his voice quiet and strained. His eyelids drooped again, slipping shut this time without opening. His breathing picked up the wheeze again, falling into a rapid and steady rhythm.

Worse? How could it get worse? Jacob was naked down a hole with a broken leg. This was the epitome of _worse_.

Not to mention that Seth was choosing _now_ to sleep.

He was too tired for this. He was just too tired and he hurt too much.

What was he missing here? Besides his pants. He was getting dirt in places where it just shouldn't be.

First things first, as awkward as it would be to end up as a pelt, being found naked in a hole would not exactly be easy. Where were his pants?

Eyes scanning the area, he looked into the shaded corners. Ducking down, he squinted to see under the small outcropping where Seth was partially laying.

And then he found what he was looking for.

Not his pants, even though, yes, they were there.

But the piece of the puzzle that he was missing. The information that made everything else make sense. What Seth meant when he said that things would get worse.

Because Seth's long legs stretched into the shadows, dark enough to obscure it, but not dark enough to block it entirely. It made a horrible kind of sense. The hole was only half the trap.

The other half?

Was a rusted steel trap with jagged teeth, clamped down tight into the tender flesh of Seth's leg.

Seth was right about that much; it had _definitely_ gotten worse.

-o-

It was a funny thing about being stuck down a hole with someone who was grievously injured. It suddenly made everything else seem not so important. Missing the party? No big deal. Not getting to see Ness? He'd manage. Barely healing broken leg? It was doable. Getting dressed with said broken leg? Somehow possible, but not without a few colorful adjectives to make the process go along.

The one thing that he really couldn't deal with, and he meant _really_, was the fact that Seth Clearwater was passed out cold on the floor of a hole with a steel trap around his leg.

Where did he even get started with that one? His wolf instincts were to attack or herd, which left him pretty much without much to go on when it came to first aid.

More than that, just looking at Seth's leg, Jacob was pretty sure they were looking at more than first aid.

The trap was thick, fierce metal teeth that cut jaggedly into the flesh of Seth's lower calf. The kid must have stepped back into it when he was setting Jacob's let. Probably never saw it coming.

The garish wounds surrounded the leg, the points ripping into the skin all the way down to the bone. Even with an untrained eye, Jacob could tell that the damage was extensive, probably complete with muscle damage, maybe even injury to the bone itself the thing was clamped that tight.

There wasn't as much blood as Jacob might have thought, but there was still plenty of it. The thick red substance slicked Seth's lower leg and foot, staining the dirt beneath him a dark black.

All in all, Jacob knew enough to know that this was bad. This was very, very bad. Wolves could heal quickly, but they weren't invincible, something Jacob knew all too well from the throbbing pain in his own leg. Too much injury too quickly could still be a deadly proposition. Jacob had always had immediate medical care when he'd gotten hurt in the past. Even now, he could trust his healing leg since the bones were set correctly.

As long as the trap was still embedded into Seth's leg, Jacob had no idea what would happen. If the wound would try to heal around it, or if it would stay open and festering. The puckered flesh already looked inflamed, and Jacob began to worry that infection could be a very real problem.

In conclusion? They needed to get out of there. _Now_.

Looking up, Jacob gauged their predicament once more. The hole was deep. As a human, he would have to pull himself into the tunnel, using his back and legs to brace himself as he shimmied up. It might be possible without his leg being as it was. It was feeling marginally better, but movement still made him wince and any unexpected jostling still made him nauseous.

He'd have more luck as a wolf, though he wouldn't have much room to get a running start. But claws were helpful for climbing, so it was possible.

But phasing really wasn't all that possible. Not with his own leg still healing. The process would only do more damage, leaving him vulnerable for longer.

The fact was, Jacob couldn't get out-not yet. He had to wait for his leg to heal. It would never support him for an escape, and he knew it, even if he didn't want to admit it.

He looked at Seth again.

The young wolf was lax, but Jacob could see the fine tremors shaking through him. There was a pasty hue to his skin, though his cheeks were flushed. He wasn't getting better; he was getting worse.

The knowledge was more numbing than his injury. There was a lot of unusual territory to cover when it came to being a werewolf, and even though he'd been one for over a year, he tended to think he was getting the hang of it. The whole leader of the pack, almighty, legendary protector: it was a bit of a power rush sometimes and a lot of a buzz kill other times. It was sharing minds and organizing responsibilities.

And it wasn't like he hadn't been in tense situations before. Their alliance with the Cullens had been tumultuous at best. Between Victoria and her newborns and the Volturi, Jacob was no stranger to action. No stranger to pain either-he'd been ripped pretty badly that first time-and he'd been afraid for people he cared about.

But seeing Seth hurt, seeing one of his own so vulnerable-that was different. It was different than sitting with Nessie ready to run should things go south. It was different than being the one in pain.

It was just different. It was like he'd been running along, normal as can be, when the bottom just fell out.

Literally.

Now he was stuck down a hole with a broken leg and an unconscious Seth Clearwater who was only getting worse, and what was he going to do about it? What was he, Jacob Black, Alpha, descendent of Ephraim Black, going to do about it?

Leaders were made in crisis, but Jacob had never wanted to be a leader. He hadn't even wanted a pack, and now he had both a pack and a crisis and what was he going to do?

Jacob was not inclined to panic, but he also wasn't particularly inclined to deal with this stuff at all. There was a reason when things got tough he had ran away before. Because Jacob was enough of a lone wolf to deal with his problems in isolation, running away and hiding from it all.

That wasn't an option now.

What were his options now? Sit there and die? Worse, sit there, in pain, watching while Seth died?

How long would it be until his leg was healed enough to move? How long would it be until someone came looking for them? How long would it be before he could phase without worrying about making his own condition worse?

Questions, questions, and more questions. And no answers.

He laid his head against the dirt wall, blowing out a long breath. This wasn't his kind of gig.

Except it was.

That grim fact meant that sitting there and bemoaning his fate wasn't in the cards. No matter how this went down, he was going to be an active participant in it.

He turned his eyes to Seth again. It was only fair to give Seth that same opportunity.

It was hard to do while keeping his leg still, but twisting his body, Jacob use one hand to pat at Seth's face. "Hey," he said. "Seth."

It felt like a pretty stupid thing to do, but what else was there? He had no sense if Seth would wake up, but Jacob knew that for himself, he would prefer to be awake if he had the choice. Seth seemed like the kind of kid who would want the same.

He tapped again. "Seth, wake up, man."

This time, Seth's facial features twitched, his brow creasing and a low moan escaping from his lips.

"Just a little more," Jacob cajoled.

Then Seth's eyelids fluttered, head rolling. He gasp, eyes snapping open, a fresh wave of intensified tremors shaking him.

"Whoa," Jacob said, putting a restraining hand on Seth's shoulder. "Just take it easy there, kid."

The plain panic in Seth's eyes began to fade as realization took hold. His gaze darted wildly for a moment before settling on Jacob's face. "J-Jake?" he asked.

Jacob nodded, trying to smile. "So, you decided that you were tired of playing second fiddle?" he asked.

Seth's eyebrows drew together. "Leah's second fiddle," he mumbled.

Jacob laughed, if only so he didn't wince. "So you are jealous of the spotlight, then?" he asked. "I thought you didn't join me for the promotion."

Seth's eyes wandered a bit. "And I didn't step in a wolf trap for sympathy," he muttered.

"Well, that's reassuring," Jacob said. He paused, watching the younger boy. "How you feeling?"

Seth looked at him tiredly. "Been better," he said. "You?"

Jacob motioned to his leg. "Healing, thanks to you," he said. "I can't say how long it'll be, but at least I can think through the pain now."

With an absent nod, Seth wet his lips. "Good," he said breathily, letting his eyes close for a minute.

Jacob nudged him. "Hey, stay awake," he said, not because he was sure that was the right thing to do, but because he wasn't ready to be alone with this.

Seth opened his eyes, meeting Jacob's demanding gaze with weary resolution. "So is now a bad time to ask about your master plan to get out of here?" he asked, and Jacob could tell that under the pain and exhaustion, Seth really wanted to know. After all, Jacob was the Alpha. He was supposed to have all the answers.

Sam had always been better at the whole planning thing. Jacob was more about going on his emotions and hoping that it all worked out in the end. It usually did, but sometimes no thanks to him.

However, he was pretty sure that Seth didn't want to hear Jacob's doubt. The kid was barely staying awake as it was; he didn't need the burden of Jacob's uncertainty, too.

But what they did need was for Seth to start healing. As long as that trap was on there, the wounds wouldn't heal, or at least they wouldn't heal right. Seth was bad off enough as it was, and he was clearly only getting worse, which meant that the trap had to come off.

He sighed. That was easier said than done.

"That optimistic, huh?" Seth commented ruefully. His face was tight with pain. He hesitated. "Any reason why you think it hasn't started healing yet?"

So Seth had noticed, too. Jacob gave a halfhearted shrug. "The trap's still there," he said. "I don't know all the ins and outs of this stuff, but I don't think there's much to heal with it...like that." He finished vaguely, nodding toward Seth's foot.

Seth grimaced. "You mean having rusted metal in your leg doesn't help with healing?"

Jacob laughed despite the situation. "Yeah, I guess not," he said. Then he let his eyes drop to the ground. "So I was thinking the first step would be to take it off."

The suggestion was tentative, because Jacob knew how it sounded. Hell, he was pretty sure that he wasn't looking forward to taking it off any more than Seth was. But it was their best bet in terms of getting Seth on the mend. It would still hurt, it would still take awhile to heal, but he'd have a fighting chance. They both would. They could right this out, and it would suck, but it would work.

Seth took the suggestion impassively. He took a shuddering breath. "I got to admit, that really isn't my first choice," he said.

"If there was another way..." Jacob would do it. In an instant. "But I can't get out of here, not on my leg. It's getting better, but it's a ways to go."

"What about phasing?" Seth suggested, a little desperately.

"You know it'd just screw with the injuries even more," Jacob said. "I can't even be sure the pressure wouldn't snap your foot off as a wolf."

Seth's brow furrowed. He laughed hoarsely. "Well, that sounds pleasant."

"I know, I'm sorry," Jacob said, and he was. But there wasn't anything he could do about it. "It's the best I can come up with."

Seth turned his head away miserably, and Jacob saw a lone tear trickle down his cheek. It was hard to watch, to see Seth in so much pain and trying not to show it. Wolves were a macho group and this kind of vulnerability wasn't easy-for any of them.

It didn't help that Seth looked so young-that he _was _so young. The kid was still in high school. He should have been spending his weekends hanging out with his friends, talking about girls, but there he was, in a hole with a steel trap around his leg.

The kicker was, Seth had never once complained about it. He'd joined Jacob's pack without a second's hesitation and had never looked back. No matter what conflict, no matter what orders, no matter anything. That was the way Seth was. A pure and innocent mind, Edward had said.

Edward hadn't even known the start of it.

He gave Seth a lot of crap, and Seth could be annoying sometimes, but the pack wouldn't be the same without it. Jacob wouldn't be the same without him. His earnestness, his commitment, his unfailing sense of right and wrong-Seth was a remnant of innocence in a pack that had been forced to grow up far too quickly. He was the unbridled conscience in a group of wolves that didn't always want to make the right decisions.

It suddenly seemed like Jacob should tell Seth that, tell Seth something positive, something uplifting-_anything_-but his mouth didn't seem to want to work. For a moment, he wished they were wolves so Seth would just _know_.

Seth turned his head back, blinking rapidly, his chest rising and falling quickly. He nodded convulsively. "Okay," he said. "But you-you need to be careful. It's...sharp. You could lose a finger." He gave a wobbly grin. "Even wolves can't regrow body part, right?"

Jacob's return smile was pained. "Just worry about yourself, okay?" Jacob said.

Seth nodded, but his eyes betrayed him. The kid was scared. "Are you sure you can-um, with your leg?"

Jacob was scooting as best he could, keeping his leg as stabile as possible. "Hey, what did I just tell you?"

"Right," Seth said, looking at the opening of the hole. He jerked his head again in a nod, licking his lips. His voice wavered. "Worry about myself." He laughed, nervously. "Leah's never going to let me live this down."

Jacob winced, settling into position by Seth's legs. "I can probably order her to shut up about it," he offered. "She's going to enjoy reminding me how I fell down a hole."

Seth's chuckle was choked. "At least try to remember that I was manly about this, okay?"

"Sure, we'll leave out the part about your girlish screams of agony," Jacob quipped.

A smile smoothed over Seth's face. "I appreciate that, man," he said, sounding far too grateful.

Especially considering what Jacob was about to do to him. Up close again, Jacob could see that Seth's leg was badly mangled. The torn flesh was abraded and raw, and the metal's grip was unforgiving. The pinched skin around the teeth was purple, and there were clots of blood forming loosely in the part of the injury that was open

For as painful as the wound looked now, Jacob knew that the minute he messed with it at all, it was only going to get worse. Seth was a tough kid, even pretty stoic when he got right down to it, but this?

Well, any girlish screams he made, he would be well entitled to.

With a grimace, Jacob tried to steady himself. His own strength was still meager at best, no matter how in control he tried to be. Things were still a bit hazy around the edges and his mobility was limited at best. He would be relying on every ounce of superhuman strength he had on him-because once he started pulling the trap open, there would be no turning back. If he didn't get it open that first time, he wasn't sure there'd be a second time. His own fingers would be in peril, not to mention the damage that could be done to Seth's leg if he lost control and let it snap shut again.

All in all, he was aiming for a spot between a rock and a hard place. There was no margin of error-for him or for Seth.

He looked at Seth again. The kid was still looking up, fingers clenching and unclenching by his sides. He seemed to be fidgeting, but trying not to, chewing anxiously at his lip.

Turning to the trap again, Jacob briefly considered if he was up for this. It would be a task, even without his leg as it was.

Then again, what options did he have? Leave it on and let Seth slowly get worse?

Shifting, he moved closer, gently fingering the trap.

Seth tensed, gasping a little, and Jacob hesitated until Seth exhaled. "Just do it," the kid ground out.

That about summed it up. Working to get a good grip, Jacob cautiously used both hands to hold the trap. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, before opening them again and committing to the task at hand.

With a grunt, he pulled. The metal groaned, and Jacob bore down.

Seth's entire body went ramrod straight, a pinched scream erupting from him.

It was harder than Jacob had anticipated. His grip was perilous and the torque on the trap was stronger than he'd known.

Seth was sobbing in earnest now, pleading and begging, hands clutching at the dirt and his good leg kicking.

This was torture-for both of them. He had to finish.

Jacob worked his fingers, repositioning them slightly and used his entire body to pull.

It was progress-but the movement jarred Seth more than intended. The teeth caught on Seth's skin again, bumping across the now exposed wound in a way that made Jacob's stomach turn.

And made Seth scream. His body convulsed, rocking violently under Jacob and he realized that he'd underestimated Seth's pain. It was encompassing and overwhelming-and Seth had no sense of where he was or what he was doing anymore.

Which put them both at risk.

Jacob had to get this thing off-now.

He was moving his fingers, working them free from the teeth just in case, when Seth's writhing foot struck out hard, connecting with a horrible impact to his leg.

The agony was instant and complete. His fingers went numb, losing their grip and going to his leg reflexively.

Seth flailed again with a new pain, catching Jacob harder this time.

Rolling away, Jacob screamed into the dirt, his own tears wetting his face. He screamed again, pounding at the ground with his fists before everything went black.

-o-

He came to just as fast as he went out. It was a sudden jarring motion, a quick inhale of breath and the taste of dirt and oh, yeah..._pain_.

That was probably an understatement, but words were kind of failing Jacob at the moment. No word really did it justice, anyway.

Forcing himself to stay calm, he focused. Beyond the pain, beyond the dirt in his mouth, beyond everything.

First things first, take stock of himself.

He was on the ground, face pressed against the ground. Alive and breathing, check and check, but _okay_ was probably a stretch.

His leg. Using his arms, he pushed himself upright, blinking rapidly against his dimming vision as he did so. The wave of vertigo passed and managed to position himself against the wall to get a better look at his leg.

Fortunately, there was still light filtering in from the hole's opening, not that he really liked what he saw. The leg was still bloody, but Jacob could see that most of it was dried. In fact, the outer wound was already somewhat mended.

With tentative fingers, he felt along the shin, feeling for the break in the bone.

He flinched when he found it, still clearly broken but somehow still set correctly. The bones had probably already started to fuse, which meant that unless Seth had _really _kicked him, the jarring had just hurt like hell but done no additional damage-at least nothing his body couldn't quickly compensate for.

Which was the good news.

The bad news?

Well, where to begin.

He was still in pain, and he was still down a hole. They were losing daylight and Seth...

Jacob almost didn't want to look. Because he knew he'd failed. Worse, by failing, he knew he'd just put Seth through a whole lot of pain with absolutely no gain whatsoever.

That made it his responsibility.

With a sigh, Jacob rolled his head toward Seth.

The younger boy was sprawled again, limbs askew. One arm was laying across his stomach, fingers outstretched toward his leg while the other was flung wide. His good leg was bent at the knee, leaning against the wall. His face was blank, but still somehow exhausted, eyes closed and still in a deep unconsciousness.

The leg with the trap had barely moved, but the trap had. When Jacob had let it go, it had clamped down again, ripping downward from the original wound, exposing even more of the wound to the open air. There was fresh blood everywhere, a small pool forming on the ground.

Jacob had to close his eyes.

This was worse than before. This was just...

He opened his eyes in resignation. There was no use trying to describe or compare it. It was just bad, plain and simple. Seth's injuries were worse, Jacob wasn't nearly healed enough, and it was almost night.

He wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry when he remembered that the rest of the pack would be at the party all night. They wouldn't even think to look for them until the morning.

Jacob knew he could survive the night-not much of a problem there. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing, but doable.

He looked at Seth again. He wasn't sure how doable it was for Seth. Werewolf or not, Seth was in bad shape. The kid didn't deserve to suffer like this all night-he didn't deserve to suffer at all. Which meant that it was up to Jacob to act, to figure this out. Come up with a plan, even if it involved lots of sitting. Seth deserved that much, and that much Jacob could give. He'd failed at the rest, but he would not leave Seth drifting in his own pain to top it all off.

Which meant he needed to give Seth another once over. Not just the leg, because he had that one pretty well down. It was a step up from road kill, but not much. But he would never know just how serious it was until he assessed the rest of Seth's condition-better yet, had the kid wake up and tell him what level of crap he was feeling right now.

However, if Jacob were honest, he didn't want to find out just how bad it was. He wasn't even sure he wanted Seth awake at this point. Telling the kid how it'd all gone south-_again_-was not high on Jacob's list of fun things to do at the moment. But this wasn't about Jacob and his wayward whims and wants. More than the fact that Jacob was Seth's Alpha, he was Seth's friend, his _brother_ in all the ways that mattered.

Resolved, he began his slow and painful trip back to Seth's upper body. He was more careful than before, the pain more pronounced, and by the time he got close enough to Seth to really check him out, he felt like he was going to pass out again.

But three times in one day was more than enough and he wasn't going for a quadruple crown on this one.

Steadier, Jacob leaned over, using one hand to skim over Seth's brow. Seth's long hair was sticky, matted with sweat and dirt, and as Jacob pushed it out of the way, he could feel fever.

Fevers were a tricky thing when it came to werewolves, since they were almost always suffering from one. Jacob was mostly used to the extra heat in his skin-it just made everything else feel cold. In fact, Jacob was hard pressed to remember the last time something felt truly _hot_ to him besides his own sweaty armpits.

But Seth's forehead?

Was hot.

More than frying an egg kind of hot. Like about to spontaneously combust kind of hot.

Jacob swore, pulling his hand away. Not that he shouldn't have expected it-open wounds, dirty conditions, both lent themselves pretty well to infections. But what was he supposed to do with a kid in a steel trap running a fever at the bottom of a hole?

Carefully, he moved his hand to Seth's shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly. "Hey, Seth," he called. "You with me, kid?"

Seth didn't move; nothing even flickered in the younger boy.

Concerned, Jacob moved his hand back to Seth's forehead, letting it rest there for a second. "Come on," he said. "You don't want me to tell Leah that you had to catch a few extra z's during our great adventure, do you?"

It was the best incentive Jake could offer. Leah's ridicule of her younger brother was often relentless. Good natured or not, Jacob knew it wasn't Seth's favorite thing.

Seth still didn't move. Not as much as a twitch.

With a sigh, Jacob sat back. Seth was out like a light. He couldn't be sure if it was the infection or the shock or just the pain alone, but there was no indication that the kid would be waking up any time soon.

It really could have been for the best, Jacob allowed himself to consider. There was nothing Jacob could do for Seth while he was awake and if the pain was as bad as Jacob might imagine, then unconsciousness might actually be kinder.

For Seth, anyway. Jacob wasn't sure which option was better for himself: having to put on an act to help Seth forget their situation or not having anyone force him to play along.

That really was what it seemed like most of the time. This whole Alpha of the pack thing. It was like a game he played, a part he was acting out. Sometimes he still didn't quite believe it himself until there were four other wolves there, all answering to him.

That really was weird, too. That anyone would _want _to follow him. He was just Jake, who had spent his entire life in La Push, going to school and hanging out with his two best friends. There'd never been any girls, not except for Bella, and he hadn't really been one for school involvement. He'd managed to pass his classes with mediocre grades and he was likable enough if largely forgettable.

Which, truthfully, had been okay with him. He liked hanging out with Embry and Quil, fixing cars up in his dad's garage. And then there'd been Bella, and Jacob had been smitten. More than smitten; he'd been in love. He'd been falling all along but when his blood boiled over, that had really been it. Phasing wasn't just a physical thing, it was an emotional and psychological thing, too. There was so much going on, so much changing, so much _needing_, that his puppy love had turned into full blown epic soul mates.

It was pretty easy to phase in and out of wolf form; it wasn't so easy letting go of love.

His life had been defined by Bella. His rebellions were against her. His lines in the sands were always for her sake. His desire to leave, his need to come back, his realization that he wasn't meant to be a Beta to Sam: Bella, Bella, Bella.

His entire pack, his entire _life_ was based around the fact that he'd fallen in love with a girl he was never meant to have, but was always meant to be a part of. And really, that was okay with him, because it made sense in the end. Him and Nessie, and the rest of the Cullens. There was a balance there, puzzle pieces that fit together to make a bigger picture.

But Leah, Embry, Quil. Seth. They had all come along for the ride, and for as sure as Jacob felt about his place with Nessie and the rest of the Cullens, sometimes he still had no idea what he was doing as an Alpha.

He was protecting, keeping watch. Keeping the others on task.

Falling down holes, breaking his leg. Watching junior pack members writhe in pain until they passed out.

Just another day in the life.

Jacob's gaze flittered to Seth once again. If any of them would believe it, it would be Seth. After all this time, after sharing Jake's thought, the dumb kid still though Jacob hung the moon.

Normally Jacob could ignore that. Sometimes it annoyed the crap out of him. Right then, Jacob wished he was right.

He wished he could just stand up, have his leg be healed, and carry Seth out of here. He wished he could gnaw the chain with his teeth, get them both out and back to the party before anyone realized that things had gone wrong.

"Jacob?"

Startled, Jacob looked back down. Seth's eyes were open, staring dully into the growing dimness. Leaning over, Jacob put himself in Seth's line of sight, all smiles. "Hey, kid," he said. "You're awake."

A faint line appeared between Seth's brows as he tried to make sense of that. The concentration seemed to be too much, and his brow smoothed, eyes wandering toward the sky. "Is it night?" he asked, his voice soft and slurred.

Jacob looked up. "Looks that way," he said. "You said you like camping, though, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Seth nodded at that, taking Jacob at his word. He seemed to drift for a moment. "That didn't work so well, huh?" he asked.

It was so unexpected and so understated that Jacob nearly choked on his own laughter. "You mean my brilliant plan of taking the trap off? No, not so much."

Seth just nodded. "Did I kick you? I think I kicked you."

Only Seth would worry about that. "It was nothing, man," Jacob reassured him lightly.

Seth met his gaze quite seriously. "I didn't...screw up your leg or something, did I?"

"You mean more than I already did by falling down a hole?" he quipped. The humor seemed to be lost on the kid. Jacob shook his head. "No, it's fine. Sore, but healing."

Seth nodded, but there was little trace of understanding on his face. Concerned, Jacob shifted, trying to keep the conversation flowing. He had his audience now; it was time to live up to expectations. "So how are you feeling?"

Seth seemed to consider the question. "My leg hurts."

It would have been funny if Seth hadn't been completely serious about it. Jacob pursed his lips, nodding. "Well. I can understand why."

Seth agreed with a faint nod.

This was not going as smoothly as Jacob had hoped. "I'm sorry," he blurted. "For the trap thing, you know. Trying to take it off and falling down here in the first place. I've been a grade-A idiot tonight, and I'm sorry I took you along for the ride."

For all the things Seth didn't seem to be picking up on, it was clear he caught the gist of this. He frowned. "It's not your fault, Jake."

Jacob scoffed. "I'm the one who walked right into the hole, taking you down for the ride," he said plainly. "I let my guard down."

Seth's eyes were wide, and he shook his head. "I was distracting you," he recalled. "Asking the question, 'member? You said I should shut up, and I didn't." His voice began to trail off a bit, his eyes losing their focus. "I just keep asking questions..."

Jacob nudged him, inching closer to Seth. "You stepped into that trap setting my leg," Jacob reminded him.

Seth's gaze flickered back, surprisingly clear. "You fell into this hole listening to me talk."

They both had a point.

Maybe they were both wrong.

He sighed, offering up a half-smile. "You know, it's not either of our faults really," he said. Then he leaned in a bit conspiratorially. "It's Leah's fault. If she hadn't thrown a fit and demanded to go to that party, we wouldn't be here at all."

Seth's face brightened just for a moment, a laugh bubbling past his lips.

And that felt good-to laugh, to hear Seth laugh. A moment of normal when everything else seemed so off.

Seth's laugh tapered off, ending with a series of breathless coughs. The younger boy blinked his eyes heavily. "I'm tired," he murmured.

The kid looked tired. His features were even paler in the waning light, but the dark rims around his eyes were starkly visible. Jacob forced himself to smile. "Yeah, well, it's been kind of a long day," he said.

Seth blinked a few more times. "Do you think maybe I could sleep?" he asked, almost hesitantly. "Just for a little bit. Not long. Promise."

The request was so sincere, so desperate, that it hit Jacob hard. That the kid would think he even had to ask for permission, as if that was just part of what a pack member did with an Alpha. "Yeah, sure," he said, something hot burning in his eyes. He swallowed hard. "Of course. I mean. I can take first watch, I guess."

There was no reply from Seth, just a vague movement of his head before his eyes closed and his body fell lax once again.

Jacob sat there, stiffly, trying to keep himself together. For his sake, for Seth's. Seth would be better off asleep. At the very least, it was a respite the kid deserved and the least Jacob could allow him.

Turning his head toward the sky again, he refused to let his own eyes close. It was the very least, indeed.

-o-

He was running.

Paws over the ground, eating up the ground like it was nothing, tearing through the trees toward the coast. Up, up, up, and beyond.

He took the uphill fast and the downhill flying. He dodged trees, leaping rocks and streams.

These woods were his; his world was his. There for the taking, there for the taming. Jacob had the claws to pared it down, to cleave himself to it. He had the teeth to rip it to size, pulling, rearranging until it fit him just the way it should.

But the more he ran, the more he knew he wasn't alone. The sound of footfalls behind him, breathing in tandem with his own, the rapid pulsing of a heart, two hearts, three, four.

The pack. They ran at his flanks, at his back. They mimicked him, kept his pace. He went left, and they veered to follow. He went right, and they didn't miss a beat.

Even their thoughts came to one. Five disparate minds falling into the same pattern, the same unspoken rhythm Up, up, up, and beyond.

It was as reassuring as it was inevitable. As perfect as it was constricting. No matter what Jacob did, he was never alone. Where he went, they also were. His victories, his setbacks. His rejoicing, his pain.

Then one, fell away. At first, so quiet he barely noticed.

Then another.

And another.

When he stopped to look, there was only one left. Tall and lanky, sandy colored fur, smiling broadly right before he was snatched off his feet and pulled away from Jacob, deep into the forest.

He couldn't find them. All he could hear was their howls, splitting the forest open and sucking them in and in and in...

"Jacob?"

The voice came from nowhere. Jacob's breath caught in his throat, eyes flying open.

Dreaming.

It was just a dream.

"Jake, you okay?"

It was Seth, Jacob realized, sitting up quickly before he remembered his condition.

His leg protested, sending shocks of pain throughout his body. His vision dimmed just for a moment, but a few deep breaths and he was able to get it under control. His stomach still felt nauseous and his entire body seemed to ache, but this was improvement.

Blinking, it was darker than he remembered. It was hard to see much, but the faint glow of moonlight made it possible to see Seth lying next to him, head craned awkwardly to look at him.

The kid still looked awful, skin bluish pale in the moonlight. "You were talking in your sleep," he explained, relaxing back a little. "I was worried."

Jacob felt duly sheepish. He'd promised he'd stay on duty, and even if there wasn't much he could do, a promise was a promise. One he had failed. "Sorry, I guess I fell asleep," he admitted for what it was worth.

Seth didn't seem fazed by that notion. "Sleep will help you heal," he said simply. "Sorry for waking you."

"No, I should be awake anyway," Jacob said quickly.

"I can keep watch," Seth offered, and it was a toss up to decide it the kid was just too delusional to know what was what or just too naive to understand how dire his situation was.

"Nah, I'm good now," Jacob said, and it was partly true and partly not. Since first phasing, he didn't need sleep in the same way, but when he slept, he really slept. It was true that sleep seemed to aid the healing process, but this wasn't about healing. This was about being the Alpha.

"I'd holler if anything came up," Seth promised earnestly. "I mean, I know I'm not in much condition to do much, but I can still yell, more or less."

"No yelling necessary," Jacob said. He looked up at the still woods above them.

To that, Seth had no counterargument. "I guess it'd probably just attract night predators," Seth added thoughtfully.

Great. Something else Jacob could worry about. He could hold his own against anything the forest threw his way (holes, notwithstanding), but the idea of tackling said creatures with a still mending leg and a downed teenager? Was not so appealing.

"Just let me worry about that, okay?" Jacob said, forcing his tension away. "I have to live up to my Alpha duties in some capacity tonight."

Seth's smile took a bittersweet curve. "You're a good Alpha, Jake," he said, entirely serious.

The sincerity of it hurt. "Taken a look around lately, kid?" Jacob asked. He pushed his guilt back down as best he could. "This isn't exactly my shining moment."

Seth shook his head. "Thought we already decided it wasn't your fault."

Jacob shrugged. "Worrying about the pack sort of seems to go with the whole territory," he said.

"I know how that feels," Seth replied readily this time. "Ever since I first, you know. Phased. The pack's just always been a priority."

It was sort of an inevitable part of becoming a werewolf, Jacob was pretty sure. The concern for the pack was ingrained into their DNA. Even with that, Jacob knew Seth took it more to heart than most. From the moment Seth had become a part of the pack, he'd been a stubborn, good hearted pain in the butt. Even when he was too young for the fight against the newborns, he'd refused to stay back, too earnest and pure hearted about it all to be put into place.

Jacob looked at his hands. Seth had surprised them all in that fight. All this time later, it seemed like the kid was still full of surprises. He laughed bitterly, trying to sound like he believed it. "The pack is sort of everything," Jacob agreed.

"That's what I mean," Seth said a little breathless, but still assuringly cognizant. "You're doing the best you can."

Jacob's guilt and self-deprecation wasn't going to get him anywhere. He would just wear Seth out with pointless arguments that neither of them would win. He sighed. "You Clearwaters sure are stubborn, aren't you?" Jacob asked tightly.

In the faint moonlight, he could see Seth smile, but the kid's gaze was faraway. "That's the diplomatic way of putting it."

Jacob had to laugh. "You can't listen to everything your sister says."

Seth glanced at him, a bemused smile on his face. "She's not the only one who's thinking it."

Jacob felt his cheeks flush. The whole one mind thing had its drawbacks.

Seth shrugged slightly, looking at the sky again. "But I think maybe you're all right about me most of the time," he said. "Only a kid would make this kind of mistake."

"I already told you, you didn't make a mistake," Jacob said again, with more finality this time. "This kind of crap-it could happen to any of us. I mean, remember how I'm down here with you?"

Seth looked at him with a keen understanding. "You're healing," he pointed out. He nodded toward his leg. "I'm the one still caught in the trap."

As if Jacob could forget. "Seth..."

Lifting his arm a little, Seth waved it off dismissively. "It's not a big deal," he said quietly. His mouth quirked up into a bittersweet smile. "Just goes to show that I think maybe you're all right. There's a reason why playing Beta never stuck for me."

That caught Jacob off guard. Of course, he knew the situation and how it came to be. When they'd started out, there really hadn't been a pack. It'd just been him and Seth playing tagalong. In a pack of two, there really wasn't much room for positioning within the ranks. Jacob had always been the clear Alpha, and Seth had played the part of a Beta because there was no one else there to do it.

Besides, Jacob hadn't really accepted the fact that it _was_ a pack. Not even when Leah joined. It wasn't until after they'd faced off with the Volturi, when he'd made peace with Sam, when Embry and Quil had joined them that it really all settled into place.

And it had seemed like a seamless transition at that point. He and Sam were on good terms again, and Embry and Quil's departure didn't seem like a defection, just a choice, like adding ketchup and mustard to a hot dog. It wasn't even something any of them had talked about or made a conscious decision regarding; Leah just _was_ the Beta. She had the age and a certain wisdom and she was submissive enough when it counted but she was pretty good at giving orders.

Seth had never contested the change, but Jacob realized now that the demotion had been pretty substantial. Even now when they were all together, Seth took up his spot at the back of the pack. When opinions were sought, Seth's was usually last to be given.

That wasn't to say that they didn't trust Seth or they didn't rely on him, because they did. Seth was good at what he did and he was an important member of the pack. But...he was Seth. Leah's little brother and no matter how hard they tried, they all saw Seth that way: having his diapers changed and snuggling with his blankie before bed.

But Seth was a happy-go-lucky kind of kid. It never bothered him, not even in his own mind.

Except maybe it did.

Jacob's stomach churned and his leg ached. He had to make this better-he had to make _something _better. "If we judged capability as a wolf based on the injuries we've endured, then I'd fall below you on the totem pole, man. Broken leg, remember? And do we need to relive me getting torn to shreds?"

Seth flinched.

"You're doing fine, man," Jacob assured him, and this time it wasn't an effort to mean it. "You're doing more than fine."

Seth was quiet for a moment. "Really?" he asked finally, his voice so hopeful, so uncertain, that it hit Jacob like a kick in the gut.

Jacob patted him on the shoulder. "Really."

With that, Seth smiled, and Jacob found himself wishing the rest could be that easy. The kid shifted then, face contorting a little. He wrapped his arms around his bare torso with a small shudder.

Jacob frowned. "Are you okay?"

Seth closed his eyes. "Yeah, I'm good," he said, his voice fading. He didn't open his eyes. "Just...kind of cold."

Jacob's frown deepened, inching closer, his instinct flaring. Wolves ran hot, they were incubators. Jacob hadn't needed as much as a shirt since he first phased and the idea of a coat made him want to sweat just thinking about it. Jacob couldn't remember the last time he'd been really, truly _cold_.

Seth didn't say anything else, his head dropping slightly to the side. His breathing even out, his arms loosening in sleep.

With nothing else to do, Jacob moved even closer, letting his skin brush lightly against Seth's, just enough to feel the heat of Seth's fever as the night drifted on.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Patience was a virtue for the undead.

Cold blooded and immortal, vampires had all the time in the world to sit and pine, to contemplate and plan. One night wasn't even a drop in the bucket to those blood sucking freaks.

Wolves, on the other hand, didn't really understand the concept. It just wasn't in their DNA. They ran hot and hotter, with the only settings in life being _on_ and _on some more_.

So the fact that Jacob had lasted a few hours before concocting an escape plan was actually pretty admirable. His restraint was kind of unparalleled, even he had to give himself some credit there. Maybe he was growing up a bit after all.

But the fact was, the night was going to be too long. Not just for Jacob's withering pride, but for Seth. The kid wasn't getting any better, and Jacob knew it. He had a wet sound about his breathing now, and despite the goosebumps on the kids arms and chest, he was swathed with sweat. The wound had stopped bleeding against, but it was leaking pus now, the raw edges of the wound darkening until Seth's entire lower leg was discolored.

Broken leg or not, Jacob couldn't just sit on his haunches and do _nothing_.

Doing something, however, was a bit trickier than he'd expected. And a lot more daunting.

But since when did that stop him?

The decision was made. With a look at Seth, he tried to smile. "You think you'd like to blow this joint?" he asked. "I don't know about you, but I'm finding these accommodations less than stellar. Even sleeping at the Cullens with all that smell is better than this."

Seth didn't respond, but snuffled slightly in his sleep before lapsing back into stillness.

"But you like it there," Jacob reminded him. "I think maybe your nose is defective."

He laughed at his own joke.

"Anyway," he said, his laugh cutting off abruptly. "I guess we may as well see how this goes. And hey, if it's an epic failure, at least we can't get any _worse_ off, right?"

Though, truth be told, Jacob knew he probably shouldn't test fate. If not for his sake, then for Seth's.

Then again, Seth was the reason he had to try.

Girding himself, Jacob used the wall of the hole, pulling himself to standing. He balanced for a second on one leg. With a deep breath, he touched his injured leg to the ground experimentally.

The pain was expected, but that didn't make it all that much easier. It was sharp, overriding his consciousness with an uncompromising force, moving straight to his head and blocking everything else out.

But he fought through it. Clinging to his purpose, he clenched his eyes shut, swallowing hard against the pain.

It took a long moment-_really _long-but it passed.

He was standing, albeit tentatively, on both feet.

With a couple of quick breaths, Jacob let himself relish that accomplishment.

After another few breaths, he cast his gaze upward again, gauging the task ahead.

He had to grimace just at the thought. The hole was still deep-probably ten feet. He'd never be able to jump for it like this, but if he could leverage himself up into the narrowing by the opening, he'd be able to climb up by pressing his back against one end and his feet against the other. It would be an awkward position, and probably pretty precarious, but it could work.

Assuming, of course, his leg held up.

He looked down, trying to get a visual on his leg in the dimness. It was still a bloody mess from the initial injury, but it was a dry mess. It looked morbid, but Jacob knew it wasn't quite that bad.

Still bad, though. It had closed, but the wound was still vivid red and raised. Inside, though his leg was technically supporting some of his weight, it still hurt. He had no way of knowing how far along the healing was-how long did it take to heal a bone anyway? Six weeks for humans? Was that a six hour thing for wolves? Six days?

Waiting six days was out, and Jacob couldn't be sure but they had to be pushing six hours.

Six long hours. But for as long as they had been for him, they'd been longer for Seth.

The kid was still out, limp on the ground. He thought of the rest of the pack at the party. It would still be going, bonfire raging. Quil might have left to be with Claire, but Embry and Leah would have stuck it out. The other pack, too. It was a celebration. A year of peace. Most of the tribe didn't even know what they were celebrating. They just knew that it had been a year of blessings, a prosperous year. The young were thriving. The old were crowned with glory. The tribe was flourishing.

If Seth had been there, that could still be true.

But no. Seth was here, with Jacob. If Seth had just let him run the route alone, if the kid had just _listened_...

If nothing. Seth had wanted to come. He'd volunteered to come. As a favor to Jacob. To keep him company. _No one should have to celebrate alone_.

Jacob wasn't alone, that was true, but he wasn't celebrating. That didn't change the fact that Seth just had a good heart. A good mind. The kid was too busy putting Jacob on a pedestal to figure out that nine times out of ten, Jacob was just playing it by ear.

Seth trusted him. Seth respected him. It was as damning as it was inspirational. Seth had had the choice between going to the party and running the patrol with Jacob and he'd picked Jacob. Why? Because that was what Seth did.

All the more reason to get him out of there.

The kid trusted him enough to come, so now it was time to be the Alpha Seth believed he was.

Resolved, Jacob looked up again. Crouching, he forced himself to still against the throbbing pain in his leg.

One jump.

He could do this.

He had to do this.

The pain was spiking and Jacob went for it. Pushing off for all he was worth, he jumped, using every ounce of strength and power he had left.

His hands grappled with the dirt, struggling to find purchase. Legs flailing, he worked to position himself, maneuvering as best he could. It was hard to see, but he worked in the dark, muscles straining as he used his arms to pull himself further up. Just a little more and he could use his legs for support, just a little more.

Then, it happened.

His leg made contact with the wall. For a second, he thought he could hold it.

But then the pain hit him with a devastating intensity. He held there for a moment, screaming against it, eyes squeezed shut before his body betrayed him.

His precarious grip gave way, and he fell back. He landed on his back, hard enough to knock the wind out of him, but the impact barely registered in his consciousness.

His awareness ebbed and flowed, pulsing through him with every beat of his heart. Jacob didn't know how long it took for awareness to return to him, but it filtered back in by degrees. First, sensations beyond the pain. The feel of the dirt against his back, the small stone poking at his right shoulder.

Then, hearing. The night sounds. Insects in the woods.

Last, sight. He was staring up at the hole, a curved picture frame for the freedom he was so close to but couldn't have. The salvation Seth needed but was out of reach still. Rolling his head to the side, Seth was still there, just as Jacob had left him. Unconscious and pale, totally oblivious to Jacob's plight.

No, not his plight.

His failure.

That was what it was. Failure, plain and simple. All his planning, all his efforts, and he failed Seth still. So much for the almighty Alpha.

It was a bitter thought, and Jacob couldn't watch the kid any more. He turned his head back toward the night, closing his eyes against the sting of tears.

A hot tear escaped and he didn't have the energy to wipe it away. Seth wouldn't see it anyway, and that was the point.

He had the sudden urge to sob, but it was a luxury he would not indulge in. He didn't deserve it.

Instead, he kept his eyes shut and controlled his breathing, clinging to his pain, his failure, until it all slipped away.

-o-

He was...shivering?

Jacob couldn't remember shivering. He didn't even think it was possible.

But he was shaking all the same. Fine tremors, up and down his body. Definitely shivering.

The thing was, though, he wasn't cold. Not even a little. In fact, he was hot-hotter than usual, as if that were possible.

Shivering and overheated. All these pieces weren't quite clicking, which meant...

He needed to remember something else. Something about a hole and a broken leg and Seth-

That thought jerked him awake, gasping into awareness. The forward motion jarred his leg and bent over with pain, reaching for it with ragged motions.

He really needed to start timing this crap better.

It passed, though, fading into a manageable distant throbbing. When it was under control, he opened his eyes.

He was still in the hole. The moonlight illuminated the cave in parts, and Jacob recalled his wayward attempt to escape. Wayward and failed.

Jacob sighed, looking over to Seth. The kid was shivering, which was no surprise. His skin looked waxy in the moonlight, sweat glinting off his exposed skin, wetting his hair.

What was a surprise, however, was that Seth's eyes were open, staring right at him.

Jacob smiled. All things considered, seeing Seth awake was a good thing. "How you feeling there, kid?" he asked.

Seth's gaze didn't waver; his eyes didn't blink.

Something twinged in Jacob. He swallowed convulsively, inching closer and lowering his head to get in Seth's line of vision. "Seth?" he asked again, a little louder this time.

Finally, Seth blinked, a long slow motion, his pupils dilating slightly as they focused on Jacob. There was a brief flash of recognition, then the kid wet his lips. He took a heaving breath, an almost drunken smile spreading over his face. "Jacob?"

"Yeah," Jacob said, working to keep the tremor from his voice. "How you doing there?"

A peaceful expression passed over Seth's face, eyes taking a dreamy look. "Pretty good," he answered carefully, but his voice was soft and tripped over the words. "It's kind of nice out here."

Alarm bells were sounding in Jacob's head and it was everything he could do to keep from panicking right then and there. Something was wrong-very wrong-much more wrong than before. He moved a hand, gently brushing it across Seth's brow and flinching from the heat. "I'm glad you're feeling better then," he offered tightly.

Seth nodded a bit. "Can't even feel it anymore," he said. "I'm thinking it was just a dream. I have lots of dreams these days."

"Yeah?" Jacob asked. He moved carefully around, closer to Seth's leg. "What kind of dreams have you been having? And we all know about the recurring one about Alice."

Seth actually giggled a little. "She's pretty."

It took some work to get in a position where he was close enough to see Seth's foot without blocking the meek light. But he didn't miss a beat in the conversation. "She smells, man. And you give her a headache."

"She loves Jasper, anyway," Seth said with a small sigh. "Still pretty, though."

Jacob couldn't really argue that point, even if he wanted to. "We need to find you a nice human girl to hang around with," he suggested. "Bella might still have some friends from school."

"Nah," Seth said.

Finding a decent position, Jacob was moving closer to look at the wound. "What? You too good for mere mortals?" he asked.

Seth shuddered a little when Jacob's hand touched his leg above the trap. "Why would they want me?" he asked.

Jacob's brow creased. The wound looked worse-the discoloration had spread almost all the way past Seth's knee. Below the wound, though, was even worse. Mottled and swollen, it looked horrific. "What's not to want?" Jacob made himself ask. "Chicks dig the exotic thing we've all got going on."

"Just a kid," Seth returned regretfully. "Got to stop tripping over my own feet, first."

Funny Seth should mention that. Jacob's fingers went tentatively to the swollen foot, expecting to find it hot.

But when he touched it, he was shocked by how cold it was.

Jacob couldn't help it; he cursed. Seth was losing circulation to his foot. He didn't need to be a doctor to know that that was all kinds of bad. If he didn't get the trap off Seth and soon, the kid might lose his foot.

"Something wrong?" Seth asked, and he raised his head to try to see Jacob better.

Jacob shook his head quickly, trying to keep it together. "No, no," he said. "So you're really feeling better, huh?"

Seth nodded, seemingly satisfied at Jacob's assurance. His gaze wandered away. "Can't feel much of anything. Like I don't even have legs anymore. Kind of crazy. Like I could fly. I mean we can do a lot as wolves, but we can't fly. Flying would be kind of fun, don't you think?"

Jacob felt his jaw tremble. He forced his eyes closed. "Yeah," he agreed. "It'd be pretty awesome, man."

Seth sighed a little. "Maybe you guys, though," he said. "You can do anything, Jake."

Jacob opened his eyes, finding Seth looking at him, wide eyed and serious.

"You and the pack," he said. "The pack always goes on."

"Yeah, maybe we can all try it together," Jacob said. "Maybe skydiving. That looks like a thrill."

"You should," Seth told him. "Tell me you will."

Jacob's smile was wobbly. "Sure," he said. "We'll set a date. We'll all go together."

Seth's face fell a little. "You don't need me," he said. "The pack can go, though. It'll be fun. Promise me you'll go, Jake. Promise..."

Seth's focus wavered, eyelids falling heavily. His body slackened, and Jacob could hear the kid's heart miss a beat.

Panicked, Jacob scrambled back toward Seth's side, ignoring the pain in his leg when it sparked. "Together, man," Jacob said. He put a shaking hand on Seth's cheek, tilting it toward him. "We'll do it together."

Seth's eyes were distant again, his breathing stunted.

"Seth," Jacob said insistently. "_Seth_."

But Seth didn't answer. His heart was lurching now, his body loose.

It occurred to Jacob that Seth might lose more than his foot.

Seth could die.

No, Seth _was_ dying.

Seth was dying in a hole and Jacob was just sitting here, watching it happen.

It was a horrifying truth, numbing and encompassing. Seth was fading right before his very eyes and he couldn't do anything.

It was a panic unlike anything he'd ever known, even worse than when he's thought Bella's life was at risk, when the Volturi had come for Nessie. It was worse than anything, the sheer immediacy of it.

From that emotion came something else. Something stronger, something wild. A fierce determination born of frustration, pain, fear, rage, desperation.

He wouldn't let this happen.

He _wouldn't_.

Jacob barely had the presence of mind to step away from Seth, his body contorting as he phased, vicious and fast. It started in is arms, spreading instantaneously to his chest and head. It hit his legs last-muscles and bones ripping and pulling-and he howled with the intensity of it.

But he couldn't slow down for it. The pain, for as intense as it was, paled in comparison to the emotional weight of the situation. It wasn't even coherent thought anymore, it was just action, pure instinct. Go, go, go, _go._

And go, Jacob did.

He cleared the lip of the hole with a single jump, claws scraping at the forest floor as he tried to keep himself from falling. But didn't stop, wouldn't stop, pushed himself harder, breaking into a run.

His leg protested, but he pressed on, reaching a full gallop in the trees. The terrain rose and fell in front of him, familiar yet foreign. But he didn't need a map. He didn't even need a scent to follow.

The night air was crisp, electrifying him as he sprinted. He had never run this fast before; the need had never been this pressing. His heart was pounding, as fast as his feet, pumping him further and faster, faster and farther. The sound of the air whistled in his ears, and he kept low to the ground, streamlining his svelte body as he cut through the night. His field of vision narrowed, focused ahead on the only thing that mattered.

Help.

Now.

_Now_.

Jacob wasn't even sure of his destination until he got there.

He pulled up short, skidding to a halt, his good leg in front. He bit off a yelp of pain, stumbling to keep his footing from the abrupt stop.

The Cullens' house was quiet, as it usually seemed to be, but there were still lights on. Even if the place was dark, Jacob knew they would still be awake.

And Jacob wouldn't care if they were asleep anyway.

He didn't even phase back-didn't want to waste the time. Instead, he howled loudly, pawing at the ground of their yard, letting the noise take on a desperate, distinguishable keen.

Sucking in air again, he let loose a second time, this one louder than the first, bellowing so loud that it pinged his leg and shook his chest.

He was about to rip a third one from his lungs, when he saw the front door open.

It was Carlisle who came out first, fully dressed and brow furrowed. Esme was at his arm. They stayed by the door, watching him. The vampire couple didn't ask, but the question was in their eyes. By the time Edward arrived to interpret, with Bella in tow, the entire family was on the lawn, looking at him worriedly.

Edward approached him, eyes intent. "Jacob, you must slow down," he said. "You must let me understand."

Bella hovered just behind her husband, her amber eyes deep with concern.

Jacob had to forcibly restrained himself-he wanted to grab them and just pull them. But they could help, he remembered, he had to remember. They could help Seth.

Sitting back on his haunches, his hackles were still raised.

"Jake, you can tell us," Bella chimed in, her voice touched with encouragement.

He had to tell them, but the thoughts wouldn't come to him. Not like he needed them to. Just parsed images. Fragmented pieces. There was too much adrenaline, too much pain. Too much information. Too much _everything_ and not enough of what mattered. _Seth. Hurt. Now._

Simple, but enough. The tone would be enough. The vampires knew him well enough for that, they had to.

Edward nodded, patient, understanding. "Carlisle, Bella," he said in an even tone that belied the urgency that Jacob knew he had to feel. "We must run. Jacob will lead us. Esme, Alice, prepare for company."

Simple, to the point. Jacob would have been grateful if he'd known how. The others moved about their assigned tasks without question.

Edward looked back at him, taking a step closer. "We will follow," he said, his eyes carrying the promise with far more weight than his voice ever could. "Take us to him now."

Jacob didn't need to be told twice.

Turning on his heel, he lunged into the woods once again.

-o-

Running wasn't hard for him, not anymore. Maybe there was a time, but he could barely remember. Life before being a werewolf didn't seem real anymore, not really a part of him.

But it was hard now.

His lungs burned, his chest feeling tight, like it was on fire. There wasn't enough oxygen, there was never enough with each inhale that grated harshly in his lungs and when he exhaled, it was a hacking cough that almost made him stumble.

Almost.

He had to run. Faster, faster, _faster_.

His leg was nearly numb, the feeling almost gone. But somehow he could still feel it, the shafts of healing bone bending against one another, step after step, protesting in vain.

There was no time for pain. When there was time for pain, he'd let it hurt. It could hurt all it wanted, when it was over-when this was over-when Seth was safe.

Seth.

Alone and unconscious in the bottom of a hole. A trap on his leg. Dying.

_Dying_.

He didn't know he was there until he saw the hole in front of him. Almost too late, and he pulled back ungracefully, almost skidding right over the ledge again.

Which would have been great. Break his leg twice in one night. That would be one for the legends. As if this wasn't enough already_._

A hand pulled him back. Ice cold and steady.

The instinct was to snap at it, but he didn't have the energy.

When he looked back, Bella was there. "We can handle this," she said. "Just relax."

Bella was a bad liar. Bella was a vampire. Cold blooded immortals. Invincible. They _could _handle this.

He nodded his head, whining a bit.

Carlisle and Edward breezed past them, disappearing down the hole. Jacob moved to follow, but Bella's delicate hand was stronger than it had any right to be.

"I told you, we've got this," she said. "You need to rest."

He couldn't hear that, wouldn't hear it. He did the only thing he could, turning huge eyes back to Bella. She was in love with Edward, but she still loved him. Always would, and he knew it. There was only one thing she could say no to when he asked, and this wasn't it.

"Bella, love," Edward's voice came back at them. "We need you."

Bella was out of excuses, and Jacob didn't wait for her to relent. Instead, he limped to the hole, sparing only a second to make sure he wasn't going to crush Seth before he jumped down.

This time, Jacob was prepared for the landing. It still hurt, and he might have allowed himself a whine if he hadn't seen Seth.

His young friend was right where Jacob had left him. It was hard to tell if the kid looked worse, because Jacob knew his own perception was entirely off at this point. Nothing was jiving, everything was a beat off. It was like watching his father's TV when the audio was out of synch with the picture.

Because Carlisle was kneeling over Seth, hands probing, checking, fingering the wound. The doctor's face was twisted grimly as he moved to Seth's chest, placing a steady hand on the sweaty skin, feeling and counting. Seth didn't move except his chest, which rose and fell rapidly. His pale face was lax and empty, colorless lips slightly open, hair plastered across his forehead. Jacob could barely handle it-Seth just looked so young, too young to be here.

Carlisle's expression darkened.

"Do you want it off here or at the house?" Edward asked, and even Jacob knew what the doctor had been thinking.

Bella had landed behind Jacob soundlessly, and she moved past him, standing next to Edward.

Carlisle sighed, thinking just for a moment. "Here," he said, and there was certainty in his voice. "The wound is severely infected. Leaving the trap in place will only exacerbate the infection. Seth's body cannot handle that strain."

Hearing it said so plainly, hearing the diagnosis he'd already known-Jacob had thought that would make it easier. Give him some kind of closure. Make him trust that it could be helped.

Well meaning fantasies, though. Jacob never thought of himself as a dreamer, but he had trailed hopelessly after Bella no matter how many times she insisted she loved Edward. Maybe he had a bit of Don Quixote in him. Fighting windmills and dreaming the impossible dream. In the end, fur and teeth were no more effective in the face of mortality than rusted armor and a broken lance.

Edward was crouched on the far side of Seth, almost pressed against the wall. Bella had moved in across from him. His old rival's face was unreadable, but Bella's was still like an open book to him. This grossed her out. More than that, it scared her.

Bella was no stranger to blood and danger, but this unnerved her.

"You must be careful in removing it," Carlisle advised, and his voice was taut, his face drawn. "Do it quickly, and do not hesitate."

Not just Bella, Carlisle, too. The doctor was the epitome of calm and togetherness. But he was worried. He was _worried_.

Jacob looked at Seth again. Looked at the closed eyelids. Looked at the unmoving arms. Looked at the gory mess of his leg.

Looked at his responsibility. Looked at his friend. Looked at his failure.

It was shocking and stunning and just too much. He was stuck there, just watching, passively while the others work. Carlisle had one hand on Seth's chest, the other across his brow, his eyes fixed on the kid's face. It was Bella and Edward who were doing the hard work, unnaturally pale hands gripping the trap, pulling, pulling...

The trap groaned, metal parts cinching and giving, but it obeyed and opened.

Faster than Jacob could almost see, Carlisle lifted Seth's foot, extracting it and repositioning it on the ground. Fresh blood marred the wound, and Jacob could see the full extent of the damage once again. Even in the darkness, the discoloration was worse, shades of purple and blue barely muted from horrifying technicolor.

Seth didn't move.

In all of it, the kid didn't _move_.

Jacob's own leg was alive with pain, and Seth didn't move. Like he didn't feel it. Like he was already...

Carlisle had Seth in his arms in an instant. "We must go-now," he said, and he leapt clear, taking Seth with him.

And like that, Seth was gone. Just that easy. All that Jacob had tried to do all night, they'd done so easily. Within _minutes_.

The stark contrast was just too mind blowing. He didn't even know what to do. He didn't even know if he could do anything.

It was anticlimactic. It was...

What was it?

Edward paused, meeting Jacob's gaze. "He will be well taken care of," he promised, even if Jacob hadn't realized his own thoughts.

Bella edged closer. "And what about you, Jake?"

He cocked his head, wondering why it mattered.

Edward's face flickered imperceptibly. "We can take care of you as well," he said.

Jacob shook his head. _Seth_.

Edward smiled. "If you would like to get back of your own volition, perhaps we should go?"

The question confused him.

"Or maybe you would like to be human when this happens," Edward said, like he knew something Jacob didn't. "I will even ask Bella to leave."

That question didn't really make much sense either, but nothing made sense. How he was here. How Seth wasn't. How he had gotten here. How he was getting out.

"Jacob, perhaps...," Edward was saying.

And that was all it took. Jacob had nothing left, nothing to give, nothing to hold back. He let himself go, his body going lax as it phased back. Everything hurt and he couldn't fight what he wasn't in control of and that acceptance was the last thought he had before he passed out.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks to those who have read and reviewed!

CHAPTER FOUR

It was dark out. Inky stillness, cloying and thick, surrounding him, filling him up. He was alone here, alone and lost.

It was an odd sensation, so different from how things usually were. Jacob lived a life of constant connection, unprecedented codependency. There was always someone else with him, other voices in his mind. It kept him relevant, kept him on the grid. A werewolf was never lost, never alone.

Except Jacob was.

He was moving, but he couldn't see. His feet tripped and stumbled, feeling out the ground as they padded forward. He was looking for something, but he had no idea what. Couldn't even figure out where he was, what he was doing.

He moved faster, willing his legs to move, pressing on, pressing up. Go, go, go. To find that missing something, to discover that hidden part. There was a point to this, there had to be a point.

But what? What point could there be? There was nothing here. No people, no trees. No Nessie, no tribe. No Bella, no family. No pack. _Nothing_.

The thought made him feel sick and he wanted to panic. He moved fast still, running now, sprinting and leaping. He hit trees, rolled down hills. It didn't matter. He had to find out.

Then the ground gave way and there was something soft beneath his feet. Fine and grainy.

Sand.

He blinked and for the first time, he could see. The beach was dark and empty, lonely waves crashing forlornly against the rocks. The beaches of his childhood, the waves of his ancestors.

Jacob realized then that he was thirsty. So thirsty that it didn't matter that the water was salt; it was there. He ran to it, lapping at it ferociously, drinking and drinking and growing more thirsty.

He whined, rolling over on his back in the surf and stared up. How could he be surrounded by water and still dying of thirst? How could he be so a part of everything and yet always so alone?

Then, there was a growl.

Jacob sat up and saw a large wolf coming at him. Bigger than any of the others. Russet in color, deep brown eyes.

Himself.

He was looking at himself.

His wolf self came closer, ignoring him for a moment and going for a water. At first, Jacob thought his wolf self might drink, might make the same mistake, but instead it dipped its head into the water, letting the tide wash over him.

The wolf played for a moment, soaking himself before trotting onto the sand. The wolf gave a might shake, spraying water everywhere.

Caught in the deluge, Jacob shied away. "Hey!" he said. "Watch it!"

The large wolf stopped, seeming to notice him for the first time.

The wolf came closer, and Jacob felt himself tense, almost reflexively. This wolf was huge, its large paws could crush him, its jaws could rip him in two. As a wolf, Jacob was more formidable than he'd ever known.

The wolf was next to him now, standing over him and sniffing uncertainly.

"Hey," Jacob complained, flinching when one of its large paws nudged him experimentally. "You might not want to damage the merchandise. What's good for one of us, is good for both of us."

His wolf self paused, stepping back. He sat down, looking at Jacob curiously.

Sitting up, Jacob felt uncomfortable. "What?" he asked.

Cocking his head, the wolf said nothing.

"What?" Jacob asked again, more insistently this time. "Don't just sit there. Tell me what you want."

Finally, his wolf self phased until Jacob was looking himself in the eye.

The human doppleganger didn't move, just stood there, naked in the moonlight, regarding Jacob with the curious look.

"What?" Jacob demanded again. "What do you want?"

"That's what I have been trying to ask you," his alternate self replied.

Jacob made a face. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I," his other agreed. "All this time, you have everything you want, you have everything you could ever need, but you still feel like this. You still feel alone. You still want _more_."

It wasn't the answer Jacob had been expecting to say the least. "I never asked for this life," he defended.

The other Jacob shrugged. "And this life never asked for you. You will never have Bella. You will never get to be the lone wolf."

"Exactly," Jacob chimed in. "That's the problem."

His other self almost laughed, incredulity visible in the moonlight. "But you have so much more," he said. "You have your family. You have your tribe. You have Nessie. You have the pack."

Jacob's jaw worked. "Responsibilities," he said. "And they all have strings attached."

"Strings that link you," he said. "You're the one who is so set on tying them around your neck. Make up your mind. Be who you are or be someone else. But just _be_. Everyone is waiting for you to make up your mind."

Jacob was going to ask what he meant, but he phased again, back into the large hulking wolf. Without a glance, the wolf bounded away, running along the shoreline, water fanning behind him as he sprinted.

The wolf looked strong. Perfect. A born leader. A true protector. A deserving Alpha to the pack. His gait was wide and even, each bound just as proud as the last.

That was who Jacob was-or who he could be. Strong. Peaceful. _Whole_.

He blinked and Bella was there in Edward's arms. Nessie was in front of them, smiling.

He blinked again and they were gone. Now it was the pack. Leah rolling her eyes, Quil and Embry joking. Seth looking at him like he mattered.

Another blink, another change. Nessie close to him, a hand on his face. _I think you're perfect just the way you are._

Then Seth was lying in front of him, blinking up at him wearily. _You can do anything, Jake_.

Too much. He shook his head, and they were gone. Everything was gone except Jacob and the beach and the ocean that went on forever and his own voice in his head_. Be who you are or be someone else. Everyone is waiting for you to make up your mind._

Jacob closed his eyes against it, closed his eyes against it all, and tried to remember how to breathe. To remember how to feel. To remember how to be.

It was his only thought as he slipped back into sleep and let the questions take him over.

-o-

This time when Jacob woke up, it was the real thing. He knew it was the real thing because he was achy and sore, with a muted throbbing in his leg. His stomach was strained and pleading.

Worse, it smelled.

Reeked, really.

Not unfamiliar, but bad. Cold and wrong and...

Vampires.

And not just Bella or even Edward. The whole lot.

He groaned. He wanted to go back to sleep.

"We already know you're awake," Edward said, none too helpfully. "You are of course more than welcome to continue sleeping, but Bella is getting rather anxious."

"No, I'm not," Bella said crossly. "I mean. Not really."

He had to crack his eyes at that, and the light blinded him. He blinked a few times, swallowing thickly. "It's okay, Bells," he said, his voice gravelly. "Cold blooded or not, you know where the action is."

She scoffed. "Down holes in the middle of the forest, apparently," she said pointedly.

Jacob had to wince at that. It was still a fresh and unpleasant memory.

"Pretty stupid, even for you," she admonished. "Running all the way back like that. Do you know what damage you could have done?"

He hadn't really been thinking about that at the time, but it hurt enough to make him wonder.

"You are fortunate, though. Despite the new damage you did to the leg, it is healing nicely," Edward informed him. "I'm sure Carlisle will want to check on you when he knows you're awake."

Jacob blinked a few more times, shifting as he put the scene together. He was in the living room, stretched out on the couch. His leg was in a brace and propped up. It was light outside, and the TV was on. Rosalie and Emmett were curled up together, watching something about zebras.

"What time is it?" he asked, trying to sit up. The action hurt, but it was manageable. Much better than before.

"Nearly four in the afternoon," Rosalie chimed in from the chair. She looked at him benignly. "That's impressive, even for you, dog."

A blonde joke came to mind, but along with that was another thought, far more pressing. "Seth," he said, looking from Bella to Edward. "Where's Seth?"

Bella looked away.

"Resting," Edward said. "Carlisle thinks he's going to be okay. Eventually."

The _eventually _was the tip off, it meant something. Jacob's stomach turned. "How is he now, though?" he asked. "I mean, is he really okay?"

Bella looked up. "He was pretty bad off," she said. "But Carlisle thinks he'll keep his foot."

Her voice was heavy, and the fact that she'd told him that much meant that the details were even worse. Probably worse than Jacob was ready to know right then.

"He needs his rest, though," Edward added. "As do you."

Jacob shook his head. "I need to see him."

"You suffered a serious compound fracture," Edward reminded him. "Carlisle can explain the details to you later, but I can say that phasing and running on your leg must have been very painful."

Jacob really couldn't remember anything specific about that. At that point, he'd only been thinking of Seth, of getting them both out of that hole before everything fell apart.

"It's not falling apart now," Edward said softly. "There are no choices to make this time. Just go to sleep."

Edward was no Jasper, but the power of the suggestion was just as powerful.

He was sinking back into the couch, already asleep when his head settled back into the cushion.

-o-

This time, thankfully, it was a dreamless sleep. Maybe the best sleep he'd ever had, actually, except the lingering smell.

When he woke up, sun filled the room, and he knew instinctively it was morning. He remembered falling asleep yesterday on the couch, which meant-

Jacob cursed mentally. He'd been out for over twelve hours. The rest of the pack would know they were AWOL now and he still hadn't seen Seth.

"Bella called Leah," Edward said.

Jacob looked up, seeing the vampire seated on a chair, reading a book.

He didn't pause his eye movements over the page. "They have been informed. I expect Leah will be here soon. She did not sound thrilled that Seth had been injured."

Jacob was pretty sure that was an understatement. He sat up, a bit cautiously, but found that the pain was barely there now. He looked down at his legs, which were covered by a blanket, and wondered how healed the wound was.

"Carlisle says you can probably walk on it, if you promise to keep the brace on for a few days," Edward told him, looking up. He smiled ruefully. "Though it was a concession since he knew you'd try to walk anyway."

Jacob blew out a breath, annoyed and tired. "You know, you could let me talk first," he said, even though his throat did feel dry and the words were rough.

Edward raised one eyebrow with a slight incline of his head. "My apologies," he said.

Moving awkwardly, Jacob worked his way to a sitting position, hauling his legs over the side of the couch. The brace landed with a thump and Jacob winced. "Besides, of all the questions you're answering, you're still avoiding the one I really want to know."

Edward paused, before abruptly shutting his book. "Even if I tell you Seth will be fine, you are not going to fully believe me."

"I need to see him," Jacob said. "I mean...last night, or two nights ago or...whenever, he was pretty bad off. I thought-" His voice choked off and he swallowed hard. "I thought he might not make it."

Edward's face remained impassive. "Seth's injury was grievous," he concurred. "Carlisle speculated that since the trap was still in place, Seth's body wasn't healing at its normally accelerated risk, leaving it susceptible to the blood loss and infection."

Jacob remembered, and the thought of Seth's pale, shivering form on the floor of the hole made him a little sick to the stomach.

"Once the trap was removed, however, Seth's body was able to start healing," Edward explained. "He was very weak, but he has rebounded fairly well. He's been mostly asleep since Carlisle brought him back. He gave the wound a thorough debridement and put Seth on a full round of antibiotics, which has helped him turn a corner."

"So he's going to be okay, right?" Jacob asked, still needing to hear it.

"Yes," Edward said. "He'll need a few more days of recovering than you do, but there should be no lasting impact."

It was a relief-to say the least. And a little mind boggling. He'd seen Seth, he'd seen the wound. It had been worse than anything he'd ever been forced to see before. At least on a creature that survived. To think that after everything, Seth was going to get a clean bill of health and be _okay_...

Well, it was just a lot to take in.

He sunk back for a moment, running a hand through his hair. "Seth wasn't even supposed to _be_ there last night," he said, shaking his head.

"The celebration?" Edward asked.

Jacob glanced at him, only moderately surprised Edward knew about it. "Yeah, everyone was going to be there. I was sot of trying to be the good Alpha and let them relax." He laughed and it hurt in his chest. "So much for that, though, huh? I can't even protect the kid when he's running right beside me."

"This is not your fault, Jacob," Edward told him gently.

"He's my responsibility," Jacob said, almost reflexively. "Isn't that what being an Alpha is all about? Protecting?"

"Your species is there to protect the vulnerable population of La Push," Edward said. "The pack trusts you, but they are not unprepared innocents."

Jacob had to laugh. "Have you met Seth?"

Edward smiled slightly. "I have, and he is a very pure soul," Edward said. "But he is hardly a child in need of constant protection. He is a strong, capable warrior, just as all of you are."

There was something to that, but Jacob couldn't admit it-not yet. And Edward didn't know what it was like to be a member of the pack. What it was like to know that his decisions affected other people so profoundly. One mistake, and Jacob wasn't the one to pay, other people were.

"You're right," Edward said softly. "That is a responsibility I do not have. But you assume too much if you think that I don't understand how hard it is to let go."

Jacob looked at him, eyes narrowed.

Edward shrugged. "Ever since I met Bella, protecting her has been my only goal in life. She is my world. To lose her would be to lose everything. I know you share this feeling and understand it in your love of Renesmee, in your dedication to the pack."

Jacob wet his lips, looking away.

"Bella, however, has never been highly cooperative."

Jacob laughed a little. "She's always been kind of a klutz."

"And strong willed," Edward said. "It has taken me a long time to recognize that if my only goal is to protect her, than I am holding her back. Total protection is total control. It's not fair to me and it certainly isn't fair to her."

Jacob closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He opened them, looking at Edward warily again. "Are you trying to tell me not to obsess so much?"

Edward's smile was restrained. "I am merely telling you it is a fine balance," he said. "We have to make our choices and not limit the choices of those we care about."

Choices. It came back to choices. The choice to be an Alpha. Not just living up to a standard he had no say in, but accepting it as part of who he was. Like with Nessie. Fate picked her for him, but he chose to surrender to her, completely and without reservations. It was the best part of his life because of that.

Everything else, though-his tenuous position as an Alpha, his sometimes uncertain choices as leader of the pack-it made life awkward, forced. It was why the other wolves all seemed to be enjoying themselves and sometimes Jacob still felt like he was playing along. Why he hadn't been strong enough to prevent this accident from happening. He was trying to be an Alpha without putting his all into it. That just made him miserable and put everyone at risk.

_Everyone is waiting for you to make up your mind._

He sighed. Some decisions were easier than others. He looked up, meeting Edward's amber gaze fully. "I need to see Seth now," he said.

Edward nodded. "Then follow me," he said, getting to his feet. He paused, regarding Jacob warily. "But carefully, please. You don't need to break any more bones in your haste."

Jacob snorted a laugh, pushing awkwardly to his feet. "Trust me," he said with bemusement. "I'm in total agreement with that one."

-o-

Getting upstairs was harder than Jacob had anticipated, and he hated that Edward had to hover. But it wasn't like Jacob's awkward clomping really gave the vampire much reason to trust Jacob's dexterity at the moment.

By the time he got to the top, he was more winded than he expected. Jacob would have been embarrassed if he hadn't been so close to his goal.

Edward, thankfully, was not prone to mocking his weakness (even though if the positions had been reversed, Jacob was not so sure he would have such restraint-not that that would ever happen since vampires were freakin' indestructible). Instead, the vampire merely led Jacob to a door, rapping on it once, before opening it and motioning Jacob through.

With a grateful look, Jacob limped through. Carlisle's office was one of the rooms he'd been in more frequently in the Cullen household. He'd gotten his share of scrapes and bruises over the last year or so, and the good doctor always insisted on a careful inspection whenever Jacob incurred an injury on their property. Considering how rough he let himself get and how wild his hunting adventures could be with Nessie sometimes, he had spent some time there.

The office was bright, with the windows open to the trees outside. Carlisle was reclining in his desk chair, going over a journal. He smiled brightly at Jacob, his fair skin twinkling ever so slightly in the sun. "I see you are feeling much better this morning," he said, his voice hushed.

Jacob limped closer. "Barely even hurts," he said.

"I will have to recheck it of course," Carlisle said. "But I assume you have other business you'd like to attend to first?"

Jacob tried to smile, his eyes darting to the hospital bed stationed along the far wall. Seth was positioned on it, his gangly form stretched out with his injured leg propped on a pillow. There was an IV stand with a single IV hanging from it. Seth's head was turned away toward the sunlight, his chest rising and falling easily, his thick black hair falling away from his face messily. "Is he...?" Jacob tried to ask, but found he couldn't finish the question.

"Resting," Carlisle informed him. "He keeps waking himself up every few hours to inquire as to your condition. It is slowing his recovery down, but the wound is already markedly improved. I wouldn't expect him on his feet for at least another day or so, but you wolves do seem quite persistent and surprising in your healing."

Jacob had to smile at that one, but it wavered. He glanced at Seth again, taking in the heavy bandages around his shin and foot. "And his foot-will be fine? I mean, when I last checked it-it was. I don't know. Cold."

Carlisle's expression was sympathetic. "Were he not a werewolf, he very well could have lost the foot," he said. Then he smiled. "However, we are quite fortunate that all of you have a hearty disposition and resilient DNA. I assure you, Seth will be up and about in not time."

It was the same line Edward and Bella had been telling him since he'd first woken up. It was still hard to believe. Seth had come so close, Jacob had been so desperate, so _terrified_.

Carlisle stood, resting a hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Sit with him, and see for yourself," he suggested. "And trust that you risk your own life to save his. Wolf or not, Seth would not have survived that night. So I suppose I cannot lecture you too much about the damage you did to your leg."

With a light squeeze, Carlisle brushed past him, the door shutting behind him almost soundlessly.

Alone, Jacob's gaze settled on Seth once more. He'd been so set on seeing Seth that now that he was here, he didn't know quite what to do.

He had to choose. He still had to choose. He was here, but that wasn't all of it. Jacob still had to choose to _be_ the Alpha, to be Seth's friend and mentor, not just in title, but in practice, too.

The other night, he hadn't chosen.

Today, he would.

Stepping forward, he clunked his way to Seth's bed. There was another chair there, and Jacob eased himself into it, leaving his leg stretched out in front of him.

Closer, he could see that Seth did look significantly better. His color, though still a bit pale, wasn't as sickly as it had been. The color in his cheeks was lessen, a normal blush, not deep set with fever. There were still circles under his eyes, but his face seemed more composed, as though Seth were sleeping for real, not lost in a dark abyss of unconsciousness.

That was good, and Jacob knew it.

So why did he still feel on edge? Like he was still trapped down a hole with no way to get out?

Seth shifted on the bed, his nose wrinkling. The movement made the kid gasp and his eyes popped open.

There was a brief moment of disorientation on the kid's face before understanding calmed his features once again.

Jacob cleared his throat, and the younger wolf flinched, eyes going to Jacob. "So how's the leg?" Jacob asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

His attempt at keeping it cool seemed to go unnoticed by Seth. The teen grappled at his bedsheets, doing his best to sit up. "Jake, you're okay," he said. "I mean, Carlisle said you were good and stuff but it's weird not _knowing_ knowing. You know?"

For as vague as the description was, Jacob knew exactly what Seth was talking about. "You're the one who's thrown everyone for a loop," Jacob said with a casual shrug. His confidence wavered. Looking at his hands, it was an effort to stay composed. "What exactly do you remember?"

"Not much," Seth said. He frowned, pensive. "I mean, I remember falling into the hole and your leg, man-it was a mess. Are you sure it's okay?"

Jacob nodded to the thick brace. "Healing like a pro," he said. "And really, you should be thinking about your own leg."

Seth's expression darkened a little, and he looked sheepishly away. "Yeah, I remember how much it hurt. Like a _lot_ a lot."

Jacob cringed a bit at that memory. "Yeah, that part would be kind of hard to forget."

Seth hesitated for a moment. After a deep breath, his eyes flickered to Jacob. "I'm trying to find a way to say thanks without sounding too lame," he admitted finally. "But no matter how I think about it, it still sounds like a mushy movie."

Jacob tried to scoff, but Seth didn't let him.

"I'm serious," he continued. "I mean, I saw your leg. It was bad. And you ran all the way back in wolf form? Don't you know what that could have done to your leg?"

Jacob did know, better than Seth did. But that was really beside the point. "Would you rather I have let you die down there?"

Seth's shoulder fell a bit and he seemed to sink back into the pillow. He turned his head toward the window, a hint of despondency on his normally vibrant face. "Not really, but it's a question of importance. You know, what matters most."

Jacob knew that, knew it was why he'd made the choice he did.

Seth shook his head, looking at Jacob with wet eyes. "The pack can go on without the runt. They can't survive without you. It just wasn't good logic."

The words sounded foreign, like another language. But Seth's tone, the resignation, the certain, the _pain_, was pretty clear. The kid was weighing his life against Jacob's, his own worth against Jacob's perceived value, and coming up with an answer Jacob should have seen coming.

Because he'd heard Seth's fevered words in the hole. The feelings of being lesser. And all the pieces were falling into place about that-the way Seth _was_ the runt, the kid, the last to chime in, the first to risk himself. He had never thought about it before, but Seth had taken a real demotion in the early days of the pack and that was hard on the kid-not just in day to day life, but emotionally as well.

The thing was-the real kicker was-that it was destiny that made that decision, nothing more than that. Seth just wasn't meant to be a Beta, not of that pack, not right then. It was nothing against the kid, it just wasn't who he was, it wasn't who he was supposed to be. And the point that Jacob still had trouble getting was that Seth had accepted his fate with a positive outlook and a purposeful demeanor. He hadn't sat around moping about it. He'd chosen it, for better or for worse, and hadn't regretted it, even when it hurt.

And it did hurt. Jacob knew that know. Sometimes Seth did think about what he'd had and what he'd lost. Sometimes he didn't like being bossed around. Sometimes he believed that he just wasn't as valuable as Jacob and he was _okay with that_.

Seth might be okay with it, but Jacob wasn't. He wasn't okay with any of it. He wasn't okay with anyone in the pack feeling expendable, he wasn't okay with any of them almost getting hurt, he wasn't okay with half-living his life just because it was his fate.

So it was time for a change, time to start again. He broke his leg in that hole, but a whole lot more than flesh and bone was going to be healed by it.

"The pack is all of us," Jacob said, with sudden fervency. "You and me and Leah and Quil and Embry. Mismatched and pretty screwed up, but we all matter equally. I may get to call the shots, but without you guys, none of them would matter."

Seth looked at him, almost surprised. "But you're the Alpha," he said.

"And you're my pack," he said. "Alpha, Beta, pick of the litter-whatever, man. It's who we are, but it's not what we're worth. We all have to make the choice to be a part of this, and that's where you've got all of us. You're always ready to do what needs to be done. You're too nice, man. That's why you're not Beta material. You'd listen to everyone and do what they need you to do before you'd make an order."

The words were coming fast and heavy, and Seth seemed to register every one of them plainly on his face.

Jacob sighed, laughing a bit. "It's what I respect most about you," he said. "You made your choice to play your part and never looked back. It's something we all can learn from."

Seth's brow creased and he swallowed. "You really mean that?" he asked.

Jacob did scoff this time. "You think I would give you all that Hallmark crap if I didn't mean it?"

Seth had to laugh, nodding. "Yeah, okay, maybe," he said. He paused, cocking his head. "I just...never thought of it like that."

"Yeah, well, it's kind of a new thing for me, too," Jacob admitted.

Seth nodded again, stifling a yawn as he did. "You still shouldn't have done it, Jake," he said, blinking a little, his eyelids heavy.

"Oh, stop with the self deprecation and just say thank you," Jacob said, his voice rough to hide the emotion he didn't know what to do with.

Seth's face broke into a grin and he settled into the bed. "Thank you," he said. Then he added with a dreamy voice, "For everything."

It didn't take but a second and Seth was out again, lax against the pillow, mouth hanging open in sleep.

Jacob chuckled to himself, giving a huge sigh. "Thank you, too," he said. And not just for setting his leg in the hole, but for everything. For helping Jacob see that there was more to the pack, more to _himself_, than he'd thought. For helping Jacob learn that sometimes it wasn't what they were born to, but what they made of it.

Destiny was a hole Jacob had fallen down, deep and wide and impossible to get out of. But it didn't have to be his prison. Because if he just looked around, everything he needed was right there. From Nessie to Bella, to Leah to Seth. The Cullens, Quil, Embry, the tribe.

The thought made him smile, and he realized that Seth wasn't the only one still in need of a nap. Sleep was calling to him, a comforting release, and he settled down on the chair, propping his leg up on and end table. He yawned, letting his body relax, and he fell into a deep, restful sleep, knowing that the world on the other side would be just as good as it was now.

_end_


End file.
